There is no flattery so adroit or effectual as that of implicit assent. — William Hazlitt Copy Share Image
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know your gay when your the only person to like your own stuff on fb. :D — Delbert Copy Share Image
One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'll be ready in 5 minutes is exactly the same as I'll be home in 5 minutes. — Ewshy Copy Share Image
So a police man came up to me with a sniffer dog & said, This dog tells me you're on drugs.I'm on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My community grew on social media because I don't exclude anybody from any walk of life. The videos that I create are… — GloZell Copy Share Image
If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death. While it's okay to believe in a man who turned… — Mads Mikkelsen Copy Share Image
OMG! Someone seated next to you in a bus trying to read your every text and you be like, Yo big eyed!Why… — Caroline Kanene Copy Share Image
When I say "dogs", I'm talking about dogs, which are large, bounding, salivating animals, usually with bad breath. I am not talking… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War… — Adele Ashworth Copy Share Image
That quote life is a box of chocolates should come with a warning label may contain mud disguised as chocolates. - Just… — Jennifer Amorelli Copy Share Image
Well what's funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, Bob's hands are about three times bigger… — Brad Bird Copy Share Image
GOLDEN WORDS ARE NOT REPETED AGAIN AND AGAIN...BECAUSE THE GOLD VALUE IS VERY HIGH...HAHAHAHA — Sudhakar Copy Share Image
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.. :P — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
That sad moment when you can feel you and your best friend slowly drifting apart. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's so cute when the baby thinks it's going to steal attention from us. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present. — Sydney Smith Copy Share Image
Dear future husband, I promise to be faithful but I'll always cheat on you with something... My lipstickð. — Igbayilola Dosunmu Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
That Ugly moment When a guy stretches so far , you can see his chubbs and rolls — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong. — Cuts And Scars Copy Share Image
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
Invest in places that make sense so you can afford to live in places that don’t make sense. — Jason Hartman Copy Share Image
I love 'AP Bio' - I think it's so funny - it's just not the show I want to do. — Adam F. Goldberg Copy Share Image
“A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good.” — Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
Everything keeps its best nature only by being put to its best use. — Phillips Brooks Copy Share Image
Who says that tears dont fall from my eyes,now there is a firewall present between me and you...:( — DD Copy Share Image
Don’t see the mind for more than it is, but don’t misread it for all that it can be. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
“Six minutes isn’t sex,” I hear him saying as my eyes crash shut. “Six minutes is a boiled egg.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's true I don't know that much about Ligue 1, but Ligue 1 knows who I am. — Zlatan Ibrahimovic Copy Share Image
People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player. — Sheryl Crow Copy Share Image
