Funny Quotes · Page 80

“Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now.
”

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

— Mitch Hedberg

If you can take it, you can make it.

— Louis Zamperini

“Dear Gods Nick what have you done while I was gone?”

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

Im a leader not a follower, but if its a dark place then screw it your going first!

— Ana Chable

What are the questions you wish to ask?

— James Schuyler

It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself.

— Debra Granik

The problem with loving is that pets don't last long enough and people last too long.

— Anonymous

This happens to me EVERY TIME I'm telling my mom the truth. I start to laugh so hard I cry..And I don't…

— Anonymous

If you can make me laugh, then you're automatically more attractive ....

— Anonymous

That which is impossible and probable is better than that which is possible and improbable.

— Aristotle

Your garbage, transformed, is your gift.

— Yehuda Berg

Baldwin often times stumbles over the truth, but he always picks himself up and hurries on as if nothing had happened.

— Winston Churchill

Throughout the entire course of history, warfare is always changing.

— Andre Beaufre

Success in anything is through happiness.

— Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Keep hustling, something good will happen,

— Joe Paterno

Make converts to your own thoughts and opinions.

— Oswald Chambers

Better a bald head than none at all.

— Austin O'Malley

Happy Boss's Day to someone who walked into almost as big of a mess as Obama did.

— Anonymous

To know how to dispense with things is to possess them.

— Jean-Francois Regnard

Believe only what you know and all of what you know.

— John de Ruiter

I don't think you can teach people how to be funny. You can make suggestions about how to speak a line or…

— George Cukor

“Can't you just hide us in shadows or something?' 'Sure, because a giant black cloud moving down the hallway isn't going to…

— Rebecca Yarros

We work for that part of our vision which is uncompleted.

— Frederick Sommer

Read the Word. Consume the Word until it consumes you. Believe the Word. Act on the Word.

— Smith Wigglesworth

British politics, as the world knows, is a joke. Yet it's rarely funny.

— Anonymous

I take a lot of vacation because I get a lot of vacation

— Jim Rome

An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive…

— David Letterman

I will not refuse to do the something I can do.

— Edward Everett Hale

“the Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the…

— Terry Pratchett

Freedom is the disappearance of that which is searching for freedom.

— Adyashanti

To see the preciousness of all things, we must bring our full attention to life

— Jack Kornfield

I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check. We adore chaos because we love to produce order. I don't…

— M. C. Escher

The wrong sort of people are always in power because they would not be in power if they were not the wrong…

— Jon Wynne-Tyson

My dad's a funny guy.

— Lonzo Ball

Friends. They are so beautiful and so awkward it's like watching a unicorn run into a window screen.

— UnicornLegends

Instead of speaking saintly words we must act them.

— St. Jerome

My whole family was very funny, each in their own way, and you had to be quick to get a word in.

— Maureen Lipman

If it's not your story to tell, you don't tell it.

— Iyanla Vanzant

If you rearrange the letters in AUDI, it spells

— Alex Fountain