Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We're not just dogmatic about this-we're bulldog-matic! Sola Scriptura is non-negotiable! — Steve Lawson Copy Share Image
I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
You ask no you ask will you please ask? why can't you ask?fine...hey my friend wants to ask you something — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I woke up from a coma and Channing Tatum told me he was my husband.. I wouldn't question it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created you, beat out 1,000,000 others. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding… — Brendan Coyle Copy Share Image
“I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.' 'You smell terrible.' 'That's… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
We've still got a few days until Valentine's Day, so if you're secretly in love with me... Now is the time to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like somebody saying to me in their performance, 'Look at this. Isn't this funny?' I pray that I don't do… — Carol Kane Copy Share Image
Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I don’t like to be one to say I told you so.” Perri nudged her sister, as Alia stifled yet another yawn.… — Jane Cousins Copy Share Image
It's funny; before I started writing professionally, I had a job logging video footage for behind-the-scenes footage for special features. — Paul Rust Copy Share Image
