Playing against a defensive opponent is just as bad as making love to a tree. — Jorge Valdano Copy Share Image
Why do you always start after my beat then rush to catch up? Do you want us to stay behind? — Eugene Ormandy Copy Share Image
Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“No, you're not, Marissa says. You were just the victim of the blatant misogynistic and ridiculous hierarchy that is high school in… — Lauren Barnholdt Copy Share Image
'What do you fear my lady?' 'A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love begins with love ; and the warmest friendship cannot change even to the coldest love. — Jean de la Bruyere Copy Share Image
When you see the beloved all around you, everyone is family and everywhere is love. — Ram Dass Copy Share Image
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There was something really fun about when I used to do bus tours. I was on mic all day, trying to be… — Tim Dillon Copy Share Image
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Noah held my hand and my bag as he escorted me to the third floor - the Women's Pavilion. The elevator bell… — Katie McGarry Copy Share Image
“I've got a cab waiting so we sh-" he stopped speaking as he entered the sitting room, his eyes frozen on me.… — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
She was a wonderful mother. She was my best friend. Same for my brother. And it's funny because we didn't grow up… — Sean Hepburn Ferrer Copy Share Image
You must understand the feeling of originating as opposed to imitating. — Sailor Jerry Copy Share Image
One girl is a girl, two girls are half a girl, and three girls are no girl at all. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
It's funny, every time I start work on a new script, it feels like I'm going outside my comfort zone. But by… — Kelly Reichardt Copy Share Image
Just when U think nothing can surprise U, U see a bus driver bring out a hand mirror to look at the… — Laylow Copy Share Image
LIKE if you don't care what people think about you because you do what YOU want — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I once walked in on my grandparents making love...And that's why I don't eat raisins. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
The most effective copyright protection known to man: a scratched CD — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“He was right. The annoying Disney song was right. The universe was too fucking small.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
There is nothing pleasanter than spading when the ground is soft and damp. — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
Perhaps I should have pointed out more often that without her (mother's) guidance and example I might have gone straight from short… — Clive James Copy Share Image
