Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
He lies so much that even if he tells me he's a liar, I wouldn't believe — Timzing Lakan Copy Share Image
My funny speech wasn't funny. That's not the first time a politician has done that. — Elizabeth May Copy Share Image
Without peace there is no development, and without development there is no peace — Jan Eliasson Copy Share Image
“Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).” — John D. Rhodes Copy Share Image
A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
I was never trying to be funny. Being funny feels to me like an alternate form of confessionality - that is, a… — Dan Chiasson Copy Share Image
Son - I want a baby brother . Mom - your dad is overseas. When he comes back we will talk over… — A Josland Copy Share Image
Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies.… — Miles Teller Copy Share Image
“I can’t believe he’s making you wait till January for an appointment.” “I could threaten to bomb the school. That’d get me… — Jeannine Garsee Copy Share Image
“I made a sad little noise. If my dick had been capable of noise, it would have made sad sounds, too. Thank… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image