Pappu: Muje apki beti se shadi krni hai! Father: Tumhari salary meri beti k liye toilet paper bhi afford nhi kr skti… — Aakash Pattanayak Copy Share Image
Regardless of what I do, whether I write a book or whether I act or whether I host, I'll always do stand-up… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
When you fall, fake friends smirk and walk away. True friends help you up and ask if you're okay. I am a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
*Calling someone I don't want to answer* *Please go to voice mail. Please go to voice mail. Please go to voice mail..*… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Just remember that when nobody was there for you, I was. And when nobody else gave a damn, I did. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On 'Workaholics,' I feel like I'm just hanging out with my buddies being filmed, but on 'Mindy,' I'm around professional funny people… — Anders Holm Copy Share Image
Standing up for what you believe is right, as well as standing up for what you believe is funny, standing up for… — El-P Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present. — Henry Cloud Copy Share Image
If I were in this business only for the business, I wouldn't be in this business. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
“Anna shuddered. "Orange is not the colour of seduction, Christopher. Orange is the colour of despair, and pumpkins.” — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good… — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It’s been so many years since I actually had a date that I’ve forgotten how to act. You don’t mention your ex… — Scarlet Blackwell Copy Share Image
I think there's something funny about people who laugh in the face of convention or surprise us morally. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
