Funny Quotes · Page 52

An error can never become true however many times you repeat it. The truth can never be wrong, even if no one…

— Mahatma Gandhi

Whoever tells the best story wins.

— John Quincy Adams

“You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.”

— Cristin Harber

There will be fiscal issues that are appropriate to discuss.

— Jim Nussle

“If you want to see something funny, it's a tough hood sticking his tongue out at his big brother.”

— S.E. Hinton

“I don't care." - Bakura "I'm not going to kill you, just destroy you a little. Geez, talk about overreacting!" - Marik…

— Little Kuriboh Marik and Bakura

“Walking out of an A level paper isn't funny." "It's not that I'm laughing at." "So what is it?" "No one ever…

— Rosamund Lupton

The only good Rook is a working Rook!

— Samuel Reshevsky

I'm monogamous from time to time, but I prefer polygamy and polyandry.

— Carla Bruni

What's funny is my mom took me to the theater for the first time when I was six years old, and I…

— Dana Davis

Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you…

— Conan O'Brien

“Be ware! Santa Claus is a fake profile.”

— Ljupka Cvetanova

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might…

— Karl Pilkington

It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.

— Anonymous

“[...]he‘s a man you‘d be proud to bring home to mom. Gay or straight. Unfortunately, if your mother is anything like mine,…

— Adrienne Wilder

I need some money. You got any money?

— Daniel Negreanu

It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on.

— Penn Jillette

The body isn't there simply to carry the head.

— Candace Pert

Splendid couple - slept with both of them.

— Maurice Bowra

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

— Solomon

Our goal is to work against things we have not seen that we will see in the near future.

— Nick Saban

Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.

— Bill Engvall

Teacher:Why are you chewing gum in my class?!?! Me:Dude, chill, it's gum, not cocaine.

— Anonymous

I have total control over everything. I'm doing it all for me.

— Myleene Klass

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

— George Carlin