It is harmful to compare yourself to others. Others will do that for you. — John Wooden Copy Share Image
Ek Ladke Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kamal Ka Phul Diya? Ladki Ne Usko Ek Thappad Mar Diya, Ladka Bola Me To BJP… — Sadie Copy Share Image
If women think all men are the same, then why do they worry so much about picking the right one :P — Ritu Copy Share Image
I've been buried in IRAC so long, they should be paying my parents a military pension. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't have this weird, natural funny bone that constantly comes out. It's not like my every instinct is to be funny,… — Rachael Harris Copy Share Image
“He swiveled his head towards Eddie. "Tell me how to get over to the Four Lads. Do I have to die again?"… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
Rock music is a funny thing: You can actually take it too far sometimes, and then it's not rock music anymore -… — Joe Satriani Copy Share Image
I'm more interested in the future than in the past, because the future is where I intend to live. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“When you’re in love with two people, always choose the second. The fact that you are constantly thinking of the second person… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
It is a funny thing to step on stage and wear beautiful clothing and lots of makeup and stand in front of… — Laufey Copy Share Image
You are not in charge of the universe; you are in charge of yourself. — Arnold Bennett Copy Share Image
I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to… — Joe Flaherty Copy Share Image
*Son walks in on dad in the shower* Son: Dad what's that hairy thing between your legs Dad: Well son that's the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
~ I know you think you broke my heart. But I saw your game from the start. I saw your game and… — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, 7 billion people and my heart still tells me it's you. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When a doting person gets down on all fours and plays with a puppy's rubber mouse, for instance, it only confuses the… — Corey Ford Copy Share Image
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The U.S. victory in Gulf War was a stirring victory for the forces of aggression. — Dan Quayle Copy Share Image
Life ... is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Religion is here to unite us. It's not here to divide us. If it's dividing us, it's not God's religion, it's something… — Hamza Yusuf Copy Share Image
“You’re a talking cat?” Endora asked with a look of disbelief on her face. “My, my, my, aren’t you the bright bulb… — Sophie Palmer Copy Share Image
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
