“Knowing all the languages in the world could help you to really understand all the jokes you can hear... from my future… — Ivan Stoikov - Allan Bard Copy Share Image
“She'll need to see another goddamn place, then, because the roaches have unionized and put a stop to further negotiations regarding new… — Jessica Park Copy Share Image
“We’re good to move.” “Cool.” Kolya’s smile was every bit as tight-lipped as Riley’s, but it was real. “Tell us when you… — J. Fally Copy Share Image
BBM for Andriod is the new Google+ account. Everyone wanted it. Everyone got it. And no one has any idea what to… — Tufail Mehraj Copy Share Image
Height of Addiction: Just b4 a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!… — Sadie Copy Share Image
I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wondered whether any woman could be happy with a man who says 'folderol'. — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
God didn't create you to be average. You were created to excel You have everything — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
I am a gifted absent-minded person who honks the horn at speed breakers / speed bumps. — Mohit Sharma Copy Share Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
You remind me of Christopher Columbus in that you're always discovering things people knew about years ago. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let me explain what I do here. I don't want to confuse you any more than absolutely necessary. — Eugene Ormandy Copy Share Image
“You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
I read that John Hughes script for 'Mr. Mom,' and I thought, 'This guy is a funny writer.' I went: 'You ought… — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
The great thing about glow-in-the-dark condoms is that if you get up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge,you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
