That sign of old age, extolling the past at the expense of the present. — Sydney Smith Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.” — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
They could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now saying, "Remember… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things… — Lauren Graham Copy Share Image
If you're not going to give a smile, you can not, some lukewarm, if it is not possible to hear a joke!… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by Is it Raining? Nope, I decided to take the fish for… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I'm as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout… — Coolio Copy Share Image
Lovely days in my life : Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, Horrible days in my life : ONLY EXAM DAYS :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
