Funny Quotes · Page 115

Everyone smiles in the same language.

— George Carlin

You know of the how, but I know of the how-less.

— Rabia Basri

Let the American infidels bask in their illusion.

— Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Create a life you can't wait to live.

— Zig Ziglar

Life alone can rekindle life.

— Henri Frederic Amiel

Hitler is simply pure reason incarnate

— Rudolf Hess

I want I want I want and that's crazy (8)

— Anonymous

Concentrate: you can't have it all.

— Twyla Tharp

I don't know about them, but I sure am. I'm out for revenge.

— Bob Thomason

When people say When I was little… and I'm just awkwardly sitting there like, I still do that

— Anonymous

Exceed due measure, and the most delightful things become the least delightful.

— Epictetus

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

— Nikhil Saluja

To fear and not be afraid- that is the paradox of faith.

— Aiden Wilson Tozer

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

— Groucho Marx

Learn to be pleased with everything...because it could always be worse, but isn't!

— Plutarch

She ask me would I ever hit her...yea ill hit cha wit dis LOOOOOOOOOOOONGàDIIIIIIIIIIIICKàªlol¬8==========D

— IG:caonte_2_funny

“Little James Herondale, age two, was in fact holding a dagger quite well. He stabbed it into a sofa cushion, sending out…

— Cassandra Clare

Here's the funny thing: Nothing drives a performance like an audience that gives back and even takes over. ECW was a product…

— Paul Heyman

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a…

— Oscar Wilde

Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you…

— Anonymous

Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it.…

— Justin Bieber

Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less…

— Sarah Silverman

I now know Im psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute…

— Anonymous

I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to…

— Paris Hilton

If there were no God, he would have to be invented.

— Fyodor Dostoevsky

America's best days are yet to come.

— Ronald Reagan

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

— Steven Wright

What is easiest to see is often overlooked.

— Milton H. Erickson

We don't need no thought control.

— Roger Waters

Anything will lase if you hit it hard enough.

— Arthur Leonard Schawlow

When you ain’t got no money, you got the blues.

— Howlin' Wolf

I have a lot of personality and I'm funny.

— EJ Johnson

In fear, we expect; with love, we accept.

— Kenny Werner

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

— Saint Augustine

Your anger issues really flourish when you're hungry.

— Green Monk

C.L.A.S.S - Come Late ,And Start Sleeping

— Emalie Newhall

Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action.

— Oswald Chambers

I'm clean, I've always been clean.

— Barry Bonds

A man needs a woman like a dick needs a blowjob.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you feed your confidence, you'll starve your

— Anonymous