“It was here that the thaum, hitherto believed to be the smallest possible particle of magic, was succesfully demonstrated to be made… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“A saving grace of the human condition (if I may phrase it like that) is a sense of humor. Many writers and… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
We say to seniors, we understand how important prescription drug coverage, so prescription drugs will be an ingrinable part of the Medicare… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“On the morning of our second day, we were strolling down the Champs-Elysées when a bird shit on his head. ‘Did you… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“You thought I didn’t notice the way you two looked at each other? I may be old but I’m not blind. I… — Nicola Marsh Copy Share Image
“Personally, I prefer Stevie Wonder," confessed the Chink, "but what the hell. Those cowgirls are always bitching because the only radio station… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“I'm here to tell you, there ain't much forgiveness in that old-time religion. That particular savior was a mean son of a… — Ava Gardner Copy Share Image
To create a comedy major, I ended up starting a comedy night in the basement of my dorm, and I promoted and… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
“The good part about having a mental disorder is having a valid reason for all the stupid things we do because of… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
Humor is not only fun but healthy too! Heart attack is shown to be less likely to happen for people who have… — Babloo Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Kyra." Fred caught Kyra's eyes. "I'm not in love with Ariana and I don't want half the kingdom." "You don't?" He shook… — Bridget Zinn Copy Share Image
“...A canonical leader is someone whose exemplary rule might have appeared to be for the alleviation of the pains and miseries of… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
The people I mixed with in Monaco didn't relate to my South African mentality or humor... Although I have met some wonderful… — Charlene, Princess of Monaco Copy Share Image
“That is not what I was saying, you crazy twit!" Kylie faced her with a growl, causing Kat to reach over and… — Heather Flrrner Copy Share Image
“Tassels," I said in disgust. Alex, too, was turned in his seat. "You guys," he said. "He's still moving." Disappointed, I said,… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
Everyone says comedy is really hard, but with 'The Office' the naturalism was everything so it didn't feel like doing comedy; it… — Ralph Ineson Copy Share Image
Sarah Silverman. She's the reason I do comedy. Her DNC speech was my favorite thing I ever heard. Sitting down with her… — Nikki Glaser Copy Share Image
“I smiled, reached into my pockets and pulled out a pair of ultrapowerful earplugs, the kind that are standard issue for skyway… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
“Maybe I should be a lawyer instead of a magical baker, Rose thought. Lawyers' mistakes rarely result in old men climbing on… — Kathryn Littlewood Copy Share Image
“Perhaps, if you weren't so busy regarding my shortcomings, you'd find that I do possess redeeming qualities, discreet as they may be.… — Richelle E. Goodrich Copy Share Image
“Dirk was unused to making quite such a miniscule impact on anybody. He checked to be sure that he did have his… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Lauren realizes right then that the prospect of being single—of recent events leading to a divorce and her being a single mother… — Patrick Anderson Jr Copy Share Image
If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other:… — John Oliver Copy Share Image
I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
“Chapter One of My Life. I walk down the street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am… — Portia Nelson Copy Share Image
“Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Buckets,' said Cimorene. 'Lots of buckets, and soap, and lemon juice. Where do you keep your buckets, Mendanbar?' 'Around somewhere,' Mendanbar said… — Patricia C. Wrede Copy Share Image
The main problem with films is that everybody always thinks of us as a violent people. We are not. We are spiritual.… — Michael Horse Copy Share Image
“If you're going to be a narcissistic schmuck, kid, don't bother studying Faulkner. Go straight to Brett Easton Ellis. He's the role… — Arinn Dembo Copy Share Image
British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for… — Peter Ustinov Copy Share Image
“P.S. What the hell. Why not sign off with the traditional American greeting? "Merry Christmas," Uncle Vasile. "Happy holidays to you." P.P.S.… — Beth Fantaskey Copy Share Image
“All faults or defects, from the slightest misconduct to the most flagitious crime, Pantocyclus attributed to some deviation from perfect Regularity in… — Edwin A. Abbott Copy Share Image
“Okay, Jen, he could fuck you with that voice alone and you’re Squeaky McSqueakerson? Let’s try for a little more on the… — Katie Allen Copy Share Image
But, through the shift of mood and mood, Mine ancient humor saves him whole The cynic devil in his blood That bids… — Rudyard Kipling Copy Share Image
What I find interesting is how close you can run the laughter along the seam of seriousness, and occasionally cross it, so… — Alan Ayckbourn Copy Share Image
We come before God to pray for the missing and the dead, and for those who loved them... Our purpose as a… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
There are the horror fans that love the 'Evil Dead' because of the humor, but I'm sure it's not all of them.… — Fede Alvarez Copy Share Image
