“Luke!...We have to be able to do cool dancing so we don't embarrass our child!" "I'm a very cool dancer," replies Luke.… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I almost exclusively performed at Black comedy shows and Black clubs. Black comics always just gave me the opportunity: 'Hey, you want… — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
“What do you think is wrong with you?" Iko asked. Cinder smacked her palm against the side of her head, like she… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
“One night when I was pregnant with Henry, I lay in bed thinking for some reason, about "Treasure Island." I realized that… — Anne Fadiman Copy Share Image
“ Southern Humor Hit List Here are just a few topics to get you started: • Yankees. We know ’em when we… — Deborah Ford Copy Share Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
On a crowded bus in Israel, a mother was speaking to her son in Yiddish. An Israeli woman reprimanded her. "You should… — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
I follow the baseball team on the Internet more than I do the football team. Generally you can get a Nebraska game… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
“Meaning, yes -- I don't really exist except on the page or in the back of your brain. But if you think… — Kyle Michel Sullivan Copy Share Image
“Gus leaned back in his chair, appearing satisfied. "Good," he said. "Cause Maggie's all the nightmare I can take." I smiled. "Gus,… — Jessica Shirvington Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Don't name your kid after a ballpark. Cubs fans Paul and Teri Fields have named their newborn son Wrigley. Wrigley… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Meyer is a vegetarian who practices yoga, and in 2005 he cowrote Earth to America, a TBS special that utilized comedy as… — Adam M. Grant Copy Share Image
“(The subject of Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows, I realize, is a digression away from the Oneida Community, and yet, I do feel compelled,… — Sarah Vowell Copy Share Image
“Whenever one would see a little filly that caught his eye, he would look at her and simply say one word that… — Sable Hunter Copy Share Image
“Remind me again why I put up with you?" ''Cause you sold me your soul for five bucks, and now you must… — Bethany Frenette Copy Share Image
“I told myself I deserved some good luck, overlooking the fact that it would call for substantially more than luck to thrust… — Robin Wasserman Copy Share Image
“So--what's it like, being a vampire?" "Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what's it like to be… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Why are men impersonating women funny while women impersonating men are not? It is a matter of gravity. A heavy thing trying… — Arlene Croce Copy Share Image
“... there was one new metallic monstrosity stacked in one corner that she hadn’t seen the last time she was a visitor… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I'm still fighting really hard to get any role I get. If it's comedy, I go for the laughs. And if it's… — Chris Pratt Copy Share Image
“The footman burst in, announcing, 'Monsieur le Duc de ---.' 'Hold your tongue, you fool,' said the Duke as he entered the… — Stendhal Copy Share Image
“The discussion was escalating into an argument when the Demeter head counselor offered one last suggestion. "What about this?" He held out… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“this sentence I'm reading is terrific" i can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. He didn't get it, though. He… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
“Ah!' said David, twiddling his fingers with glee as she poured him a cup. 'May the sun shine upon your splendid bosom… — Henry H. Neff Copy Share Image
“When you are no longer in the sexual universe – when you are supposedly too old, or too big, or simply no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God: Hey, Rock! It's me, God! Rock: God? How do I know you're really God? God: I could tell you, but then… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“His question is pretty dangerous for me to try to answer, so I don’t—it continues to hang out there like the stained… — Jen Naumann Copy Share Image
“The old man kept going about how he could never keep her home, how she loved to roam. He said she should… — Susan Juby Copy Share Image
I like whimsy and satire, and that's what Americans like so much about Brits. We bring subtlety and sense of humor that… — Milo Yiannopoulos Copy Share Image
I was on a tour of a Restoration comedy in 1996, and in Moscow we stayed at the Metropole hotel, off Red… — Nicola Walker Copy Share Image
As soon as you start to talk about your own mannerisms, you are screwed. Because if you are aware of your own… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those… — Tom Berenger Copy Share Image
“If he’ll let me. But he left the hospital without talking to me. I don’t know what that means.”Screw that. “Yes, of… — Katie McGarry Copy Share Image
I get a lot of dramas, but I'd like to do a romantic comedy type of movie; that'd be a nice step… — Serinda Swan Copy Share Image
Some are short and sweet. Some are long and hard. But this time, I want one that is long, stimulating, and full… — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
Doing political comedy you do feel guilty that you aren't trying to change problems, you are merely exploiting them for your own… — Nish Kumar Copy Share Image
Feeling different, feeling alienated, feeling persecuted, feeling that the only way to deal with the world is to laugh - because if… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
