I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Philip Seymour… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
If it's a low-brow bawdy comedy, it's got to stand the chance of succeeding as such. If it's an intellectual piece, a… — John Hurt Copy Share Image
“The staircase that was revealed was lit with a soft red glow. I feel like I'm walking down into a porn movie,"… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" I'd say, "Yes!" He'd say, "Then… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop,… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And I'm willing to risk quite a lot - as a… — David Walliams Copy Share Image
“...and specimens like this confirmed there had been some kind of divine rule in the universe because no natural selection process was… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
“They desecrate Riora’s sacred temple! She will be enraged.” “Oh, gods, look at the marble. We are all beyond doomed.” “Somebody put… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“I was banished,” said Reven proudly. “What for?” Elfwyn pressed. “The king said I was anathema.” “He doesn’t like athemas?” “Anathema means,… — Sage Blackwood Copy Share Image
“I'm up there trying to do my Chore. I've got the men's bathroom. There's something... Pat there's something in the toilet up… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Dont ruin my balls!" She laughs as the words leave her mouth. Better yours than mine, chica." I toss the dough balls… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, "Here's what I would say. Here's what… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“Find Your Funny Bone . . . Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. Seek irony, coincidence,… — Susan C. Young Copy Share Image
“Don't blame a person for the wrongdoings; Both He and You are Homo-sapiens. Don't greet a person for the rightdoings; Try to… — Waqas Bin Ehsan Copy Share Image
“I’d been called a freak, and worse, all through school. Now that I’d finally graduated, I was sick of it. I’d hoped… — E.J. Stevens Copy Share Image
“He's got _go_, anyhow.' Certainly, he's got go,' said Gudrun. 'In fact I've never seen a man that showed signs of so… — D.H. Lawrence Copy Share Image
Last night I didn't realize I said "abortion" in my stand up comedy act instead of "circumcision." No wonder I got blank… — Ben Rosenfield Copy Share Image
“My name is Lilian Pnév̱ma, but you may call me Lilly, or anything else you would prefer. However, I would be particularly… — Brandon Varnell Copy Share Image
That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Must be weird for you, having your mom here." "Weird for me, weird for her, probably weird for you since you had… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
“I was finally convinced of something I had suspected for a long time: God has a sense of humor, and because the… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
“When I get back to my dorm room, there it is, staring at me from above my bed. The Vladimir Putin calendar.… — Andrea Portes Copy Share Image
“Any writer of horror needs to at least have a good, solid love of the genre. Also, good horror writers need to… — Alistair Cross Copy Share Image
“I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat… — Cormac McCarthy Copy Share Image
My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“Her name is Brienne," Jaime said. "Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?" Her broad homely face turned… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
I divorce myself from listeners who aren't tolerant of humor. I did notice universally that, especially when it comes to weight, people… — Ben Folds Copy Share Image
“...And a cool four thousand, Pip!" I never discovered from whom Joe derived the conventional temperature of the four thousand pounds, but… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
The people in Miami are so different from anywhere else I've been in America. They're so down to earth, really friendly, and… — Tracey Emin Copy Share Image
If any man, out of an humour, should turn all his Estate into Money, and keep it dead, he would soon be… — Dudley North Copy Share Image
“I can't say for sure if I'm better off, since I have no way of knowing what would have been. I could… — Anna White Copy Share Image
“As it is, I guess I find "Jack and Diane" a little disgusting. As a child of immigrant professionals, I can't help… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work.… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople get ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Even if you are eighty years old, or a lesbian, or a strident feminist, or a nun, or an eighty-year-old strident feminist… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
“ 'We're not... we haven't been writing poetry and sprinkling rose petals and tripping hand in hand under rainbows, Kay.' 'Just because… — Kim Fielding Copy Share Image
“Shoving the ends at him, I headed for the common. It wasn't far away: a green, tree-lined oasis, brightened with many seasonal… — Elizabeth Young Copy Share Image
Comedy was something I picked up trying to perfect my art through spoken word. I got on YouTube just to show off… — Spoken Reasons Copy Share Image