Marilla felt more embarrassed than ever. She had intended to teach Anne the childish classic, "Now I lay me down to sleep."… — Lucy Maud Montgomery Copy Share Image
“struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Firstly, I will never leave comedy because I love doing it. Secondly, it's the genre that has given me acceptance and immense… — Varun Sharma Copy Share Image
A part of me wants to rely less and less on comedic visuals and make more substantial standalone music. And get a… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Humorous writing is often thought of as substandard in comparison to work with a more dramatic or tragic intent. I don't know… — Patrick deWitt Copy Share Image
“Cal: "I'm really sorry, Professor, but how do you explain these ? Swiss Cake Rolls. That doesn't rhyme; it's not cute; it's… — Brad Barkley Copy Share Image
“I'm a writer. I'm a Christian. I like sex. But I haven't had it. I believe in waiting until marriage. But that… — Michelle N. Onuorah Copy Share Image
“Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?' 'Not really.' Okay. 'Is there any point asking… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“From steel-town Youngstown to the crumbling marble of Rome — Earl Jenkins ain’t no ordinary knight. He drinks monk-brew, fights Huns, and… — Tapio Tiihonen Copy Share Image
“This is a lot more satisfying," he said, "when I have intelligent life whom I can render awed, rapt with attention for… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Nate had been born and raised in British Columbia, and Canadians hate, above all things, to offend. It was part of the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Nick jabbed him in the arm with his fork. "What's up with you? Usually you don't shut up about my crap cooking."… — Brigid Kemmerer Copy Share Image
“There was no laudanum and Liddy made a terrible fuss when I proposed carbolic acid, just because I had put too much… — Mary Roberts Rinehart Copy Share Image
“They were handy to have around, Nate's little gang. They were that wonderful combination of talented and noble. The former was useful,… — Keith R.A. DeCandido Copy Share Image
Huh? Oh you have a hidden agenda, do you?" She laughed. His straight-faced humor always surprised her. "You promised me you didn't."… — Dru Pagliassotti Copy Share Image
Humor keeps the elderly rolling along, singing a song. When you laugh, its an involuntary explosion of the lungs. The lungs need… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
“We just move on, don’t we, with traitors still amongst us? But there was one thought that wouldn’t go away. If I… — Graham Spaid Copy Share Image
“Originally it had had two settings: Stun and Kill. These had proved inadequate against the ridiculously well-armored skin of monsters from particularly… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“Why does everyone have to be so cool all the time? And also why do white people always have to act like… — Sarah Miller Copy Share Image
I also love doing comedy. I just moved to L.A. last July. Before that, Vancouver is all about sci-fi, so I didn't… — Tinsel Korey Copy Share Image
“What’s going on?” “Nothing.” She coughed, and released Talaith’s hand. “Except you have some powerful enemies.” “Tell me what I don’t know,… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting… — Karel Capek Copy Share Image
“Scuse me diary ... gotta take care of a pressing problem in my jeans right now. Same day - later. What? At… — K.C. Wells Copy Share Image
I'll just talk and talk for an hour, an hour and half, until funny things come out of my mouth - often… — Simon Amstell Copy Share Image
Where my comedy really solidified was when Bush was elected. I couldn't understand how craven and crass he was, and how dumb… — David Cross Copy Share Image
“Sometimes he'll chuckle at something, but rarely. Whenever somebody asks how come everybody's laughing at something and he isn't, Horst explains his… — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
I've been very fortunate. I've been in theater, films, television, radio, tragedy, comedy, farce - I've been in a musical and in… — Donald Sinden Copy Share Image
“An international power supply is the device which means it doesn't matter what country you're in, or even if you know what… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I certainly do believe that a lot of comedy comes from awkwardness and embarrassment - pointing out the ways things are uncomfortable.… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
“Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly; In my own way, and with my full consent. Say what you… — Edna St. Vincent Millay Copy Share Image
I have always employed humor, and I think it’s absolutely crucial that we do because, among other things, humor is the only… — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
I was a business major at the University of Richmond, and after I graduated, I took a job at a corporate ad… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
“Where do the scenes come from since space and time do not really exist? They come from somewhere, and where is that?… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
“Remember, people, study the rule sheet. Snuggle it at night, eat lunch with it, take it to the movies. It's the only… — Anna Banks Copy Share Image
