Humor Quotes · Page 514

Laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world because laughter can stop tears, heal hearts, and give you a brighter view…

— Nishan Panwar

Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.

— Anonymous

The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going…

— Jerry Coleman

Laughing will give your diaphragm a workout, will show you have a sense of humor, and can increase your life by eight…

— Anonymous

To spoon-feed people their comedy is not the proper evolution of the art.

— Michael Mosley

But I'm kind of spoilt when it comes to comedy. I was on 'Friends', which was one of the funniest things on…

— Matt LeBlanc

Once you start classifying and trying to identify your own comedy style, you've ceased to be funny.

— Jane Lynch

“Corporate alchemy isn’t just dark magic; it’s a tragic comedy, a satire as I imagine being written by Kafka on a bad…

— Rove Monteux

“Thus we use laughter to gauge and calibrate social boundaries—both behavioral boundaries (norms) and group membership boundaries (who deserves how much of…

— Kevin Simler

It's wonderful to play a villain who gets a laugh or to stop a comedy dead in its tracks with a touching…

— John Lithgow

“Disco's are tricky. You look a total wally if you dance too early but after one crucial song tips the disco over,…

— David Mitchell

“You see, I don’t know why I did it,” he declared as if he had just discovered the cure for cancer. But…

— Danka V

“Eugene's got a fake ID, and he actually gets away with using it because he looks like he's thirty-six, thanks to his…

— Flynn Meaney

“Vintage. That was what the used car sales automaton had called the little white car. Three hours later, she learned that vintage…

— Rita Stradling

“As I've already mentioned, 1984 and I were getting on famously. A no-frills setup, run without sentiment, snobbery or cultural favouritism, Airstrip…

— Martin Amis

“You don’t want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out,” said Fred, also beaming. “There might be…

— J.K. Rowling

I think anyone who behaves boorishly but without a good sense of humor is not as fun to watch.

— Gaby Hoffmann

Comedy characters that take themselves very seriously, but are actually fools, is so funny.

— Natasia Demetriou

Good taste and humour...are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.

— Malcolm Muggeridge

“There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.”

— H.M. Ward

“Never before have the tools of value creation been so great and the potential artisans so busy watching the Kardashians.”

— Ryan Lilly

I went to rehab [for alcoholism] in wine country, just to keep my options open.

— Robin Williams

Before I went into comedy I was a loner, very much wrapped up in my own thoughts. But I always liked myself…

— Michael McIntyre

You can teach taste, editorial sense, but the ability to say something funny is something I've never been able to teach anyone.

— Abe Burrows

Doing is better than not doing, and if you do something badly you'll learn to do it better.

— Twyla Tharp

I'm strongly attracted to classy, educated men who have a sense of humor and who loves to have a good time without…

— Angel Marie

Comedy is quite difficult, you have to be able to have fun and portray that sense of fun to the audience watching…

— Maureen O'Hara

I would watch several English comedy shows and I have always wanted to be a part of one.

— Tejaswi Madivada

“[Garry Essendine]: That is no prostitute, but the wife of one of my best friends!”

— Noël Coward

There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.

— Kate McKinnon

I don't believe you really know God if you do not recognize His sense of humor.

— Robert Breault

David Cross is one of the best comedic minds we have going nowadays. His subversive humor is backed up by his intellect.

— Jason Bateman

Evolution .. Just the right formula of science and comedy may get moviegoers through the door.

— Ivan Reitman

There are very few things that I have any patience for that are not at least a little bit humorous.

— Elif Batuman

“My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die.”

— Tommy Tran

“Shock and desire have my nerves tingling like I've been struck by horny lightning.”

— Nicole Christie

I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly…

— George W. Bush

Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet.

— Daniel Tosh

I am feeling like I have completed the circle. I started with serious roles, done a grey shaded role, did fatherly roles…

— Alok Nath

Comedy is created when someone is trying very earnestly to do what he feels is the right thing to do at that…

— Madeline Kahn