Humor Quotes · Page 489

“People say everybody has a book inside them, so why not make your life a great story?”

— Martha Louise Hunter

I am content in my later years. I have kept my good humor and take neither myself nor the next person seriously.

— Albert Einstein

“And so it was that the Poet, through an excess of theological refinement, was unable to satisfy his coarse carnal passion.”

— Umberto Eco

I thought 'I've got to be funny' so I just kind of developed a sense of humor.

— Carl Nassib

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.

— Jane Austen

I was always interested in being funny and amusing and creating art and comedy.

— Randy Rainbow

“That one doesn’t count. The poor scoundrel is deaf, but he makes a fine sniffer. How do you think we found you?”

— H.S. Crow

“Progress is heading in a forward direction and realizing what was behind is now your legacy!”

— KC Rhoads

I think when you start comedy there are some real advantages to being single and in a low-paid job. You have nothing…

— Josh Widdicombe

“I walked in without knocking. The screen door banged to a close behind me announcing my presence. I followed my nose to…

— Myra McEntire

“ ‘Dad,’ said Jack one day. ‘When you’re on the telly, d’you think people are laughing with you or at you?’ The…

— Ozzy Osbourne

The English have a special sense of humour. This I immediately experienced in the dressing room. As I walked with two plates…

— Bastian Schweinsteiger

“Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either…

— Søren Kierkegaard

I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor…

— Michael Buble

I find it strange that - at least in my take on it - the people who are the most alarmed about…

— Billy Collins

“I had heard my brothers and sisters use curse words but had never dared use one myself in front of anyone. But…

— Chelsea Handler

In reality, there are tons of unrepresented voices that we don't see in comedy.

— Franchesca Ramsey

That funny moment when you don't understand why everybody's laughing, and you just started laughing too.

— Blaze Olamiday

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'

— Tim Vine

“And I learned from my own experience that laughter was the most potent weapon: laughter can kill everything.”

— Yevgeny Zamyatin

So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an interesting mix.

— Jasper Fforde

My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements, until one day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday…

— Milton Jones

“ This is a world of controversies, if you speak a truth; you will be awarded as a idol of stupidness".”

— Bikash_Rush

Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I…

— Ernie J Zelinski

“Man, you should write a book.’ ‘I know. You couldn’t make this stuff up, could you?”

— Stephanie Wood

I feel like comedy is only respected on the highest level, and on every other level, it's like a joke, like, 'Ugh…

— Michael Che

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

— Larry David

“in comedy laughter settles all argument فى الكوميديا، الضحك ينهى أى جدل”

— Robert McKee

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

— Joe Rogan

“Last night we were noting, a freelance musician and an unemployed. But you know what we are now? ... Both unemployed?”

— Yahtzee Croshaw

“I'm not tired,I'm just checking my eyelids for holes.It could take a while.”

— Suzanne Wright

“Most advances in technology occur because they’re either trying to impress women or blow things up. It’s as predictable as the sunrise.”

— Elizabeth Hunter

Laughing is the best medicine.But if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.

— Anonymous

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his…

— Milton Jones

“This bastard was in a self-help program? For what? Square-jawed, cleft-chin sufferers? Handsome Bastards Anonymous?”

— Susan Juby

I wasn't drawn to comedy: it was drawn to me - from fighting in school to going to jail, then joining the…

— Charlie Murphy

I'd done comedy for years, it was almost like breathing so doing something new is dead exciting.

— James Buckley

“Writers are the most tormented of all the different categories of artists that are out there in the world.”

— Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Life can be so ironically funny sometimes , the only thing we can do is laugh & enjoy ourselves

— Laylablack

I think the best dramatic actors know how to tap into their character's humor.

— Catherine O'Hara