“If the girl of my dreams want a man with a hairless chest, I better dream of another girl” — Haresh Daswani Copy Share Image
It's always comedy first on 'Will and Grace.' There was never any other agenda. — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
“The dining hall in our section of campus was like something out of an Ayn Rand novel: big, utilitarian, and impersonal.” — Kirstie Collins Brote Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you made a beard for yourself out of forty two bags of Twizzlers.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
“I already told you,” said Adam. “There is no need to swear.” “Sorry, it just fucking slipped out,” said Zeb.” — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
A genius of comedy His talent brought joy and Laughter to all the world. — Oliver Hardy Copy Share Image
“That is disappointing.” “That the governor of Brasov betrayed us?” Bogdan asked. “No, that the quality of assassins has fallen this low.” — Kiersten White Copy Share Image
There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up. — Kristen Chandler Copy Share Image
A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One… — Diana Vreeland Copy Share Image
I have been lately introduced to the famous Thomas Paine, and like him very well. He is vain beyond all belief, but… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We should take her with us." Cinder glared. "Are you crazy?" "Crazy in love. She's gorgeous." "You're an idiot. Help me carry… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
“Marcus took a deep breath "Alex, what happened exactly?" "I've already told you everything. I ran into her in the garden. She… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I can't tell you what it's like to be in Europe, for example, to be talking about the greatness of America. But… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
It took me a while to figure out the U.S. sense of humor, a lot of trial and error. I would write… — Rich Brian Copy Share Image
“And even if we did, which we didn't, it's none of your business." "Okay." "I just wanted you to know." "Okay." "If… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
Comedy was never a scarcity in Kollywood. Comedians of great calibre have emerged from this land. — Vivek Copy Share Image
I don't trust people that put the twist tie back on the bread...just spin it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You're lucky I was on that roof all day. That old man... he was trying to sell you a Sega product.” — Harvard Lampoon Copy Share Image
I don't really feel like I'm doing comedy, per say. I play off of guys a certain way but I don't really… — Christopher Daniels Copy Share Image
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“Graham is late for school because I had him stay up late to watch Citizen Kane.” — Elwy Yost Copy Share Image
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny. — Gloria Vanderbilt Copy Share Image
“I always wonder how many potholes there are in the road less taken. I mean it's great to go where others don't,… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“I'm intelligent because my mother stood in the brain-line and not the train-line.” — LORRAINE GOKUL Copy Share Image
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper… — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
“Am I bothered? Am I bothered though. I ain't doing nothing cause I ain't bothered.” — Catherine Tate Copy Share Image
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Don't profane yourself, or the Biodag Dubh." Oh, Mary Ann. Me and the Beedak Doo are just fine.” — Kendare Blake Copy Share Image
“Running into a burning building probably wasn't the smartest move Kenton Lake had ever made. Then again, sadly, it wasn't his dumbest… — Cynthia Eden Copy Share Image
I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I feel like humor is a part of life. I don't think it comes through as much in the novels as it… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
“And a special thanks for not burning up the whole ship. Including yourself, you daft bum-rag.” — Scott Westerfeld Copy Share Image
“All that crap about time being a great healer is bullshit. Time heals nothing. Well, acne maybe.” — Saurbh Katyal Copy Share Image
“I have a feeling we're mooning a mean junkyard dog, all brave and laughing - until the dog's leash breaks” — Kevin J. Anderson Copy Share Image
Finding a way to find humor in things that are hardcore is definitely something that, I think, the sitcom does best. — Megyn Price Copy Share Image
Laughter has been implanted in our soul, that the soul may sometime be refreshed. — Saint John Chrysostom Copy Share Image
