The saints are never the kind of killjoy spinster aunts who go in for faultfinding and lack all sense of humor. — Hans Urs von Balthasar Copy Share Image
“Seriously? One kiss and we’re having an existential crisis? Angie, breathe. There’s no ring on your finger. Date whoever you want. Chapter… — Irina Semikop Copy Share Image
Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“Men are funny characters, they must always have something to bemuse them.” — Henrik Ibsen Copy Share Image
When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. — Michael Buble Copy Share Image
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I'm over the hill for come-on lines. On a quiet day, I can hear my liver rotting. For exercise, I fall down.” — James Lee Burke Copy Share Image
“The ironic part about all this was that it wasn't the first time I'd been nearly digested. But that's another story.” — K.A. Applegate Copy Share Image
You have comedians who just do jokes, and they're called comics, not comedians. You have comedians that do bits - a person… — Charlie Murphy Copy Share Image
“Despite your delusions to the contrary, swingers, by and large, are a civilized lot. We come in all ages, shapes, sizes, nationalities,… — Daniel Stern Copy Share Image
Eugene Mirman is the Andy Warhol of comedy. People look to him for what's next in comedy, and he emails these people… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“I kept trying to explain and he kept shouting until I began to cry from frustration. Then he felt remorseful, which was… — Mary Ann Shaffer Copy Share Image
I read "Pride and Prejudice" [by Jane Austen]. I was gobsmacked by it - it's so funny and so modern. Unbelievable. You… — Julie Walters Copy Share Image
Whenever I do comedy, my trouble is that I laugh too much - I enjoy myself too much, so it's quite expensive… — Paterson Joseph Copy Share Image
Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“...only the dreamers of a dream are capable of translating their dreams into worthy practical endeavors that are devoid of haunting errors.… — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“A girl can dream can’t she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find… — Sophie Monroe Copy Share Image
Really I'm a fan of any movie, whether it's suspense, action, or comedy - anything that has a good story. — Scott Eastwood Copy Share Image
I've done a lot of drama, and comedy was the one genre I was not being offered. So I became obsessive about… — Rachel Weisz Copy Share Image
“Retail therapy—usually one of my first resorts—wasn’t working; I felt like a cat that smelled pit bull.” — M.L.N. Hanover Copy Share Image
In 'Sugar' I'll be singing in every episode and I'll be acting and doing comedy. It's ideal for me if it works. — Barbi Benton Copy Share Image
“I had a dream that I was in someone else’s shoes for once…they were the wrong size.” — Starley Ard Copy Share Image
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I grew up in Singapore, and I went to Australia for law school, and after law school, I started doing stand-up comedy. — Ronny Chieng Copy Share Image
American humor ... is not subtle. It is something that makes you laugh the moment you hear it, you have not to… — Elinor Glyn Copy Share Image
I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to it and… — Luke Bryan Copy Share Image
I've been lucky enough to play some funny, nasty ladies in my day, and if you can make them foolish, they're even… — Kelly Bishop Copy Share Image
You've got to have a sense of humour about sex. When you look at it, it's all pretty ridiculous, isn't it? — Cat Deeley Copy Share Image
“My name is Nicomo Cosca, famed solider of fortune, and I am here for dinner.” — Joe Abercrombie Copy Share Image
Someone needs to make an app that alerts you every time your wife/girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don't forget to notice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. Charles M. Schulz — Charles M Schulz Copy Share Image
“I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“Gemma,” I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, “now I can’t scare her. You can’t go around telling people about… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
When Logo offered me my own comedy special, I said, 'Let's make it a double.' — Bianca Del Rio Copy Share Image
“Whatever one does, someone is always happy...then again, someone else is not pleased” — ArLeaBelle Copy Share Image
I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl. — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
“YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said. That's what being alive is all about.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Whenever you're making a dark comedy, you're always looking for the yin and yang in an actor. — Jamie Babbit Copy Share Image
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“As an anonymous wit is supposed to have put it: "Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas which, given enough time, changes into… — David Christian Copy Share Image
![“I read "Pride and Prejudice" [by Jane Austen]. I was gobsmacked by it - it's so funny and so modern. Unbelievable. You don't expect funny to come through after 200 years - humor doesn't transcend decades, let alone centuries.” quote by Julie Walters](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/33d/julie-walters-10631_austen_i-read-pride-and-prejudice-by-jane-auste_2088019.jpg)
