“You're so pretty, Joe. It's really a shame that you're such a dumbass.” — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
“I close my eyes and lean my head against the seat, and the word fuck just repeats itself over and over in… — Courtney Summers Copy Share Image
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Is that what you are calling it? A message? It felt more like emotional terrorism to me.-Zephyr” — Amy Bartol Copy Share Image
May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility. — Mary Anne Radmacher Copy Share Image
“How can you ask me when i want to get married when you have yet to ask me if i will marry… — Rochelle Alers Copy Share Image
“Every heart beats so imperfectly... But there is always that someone who makes it feel perfect.” — Muzzi Magnificent Copy Share Image
“You both talk too much,” the kid says. “Shut up. Don’t make me tell you again.” We shut up, which I find… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“The guards had asked the Doctor to please wait in the hallway until Mr McCavity had time to see him. So it… — Justin Richards Copy Share Image
“In view of the years of careful study that have been devoted to Stonehenge it may seem unlikely that any more information… — Richard Brinckerhoff Copy Share Image
There is certainly a higher percentage of wit in British comedy than in American comedy. What always tickles me is the way… — Christopher Lloyd Copy Share Image
A person who can laugh and go with life does not demand to be in control, which is why the most controlling… — Richard Rohr Copy Share Image
comedy is a high form of art becaus it brings us more joy than anything else, practically but at the same time,… — Jim Carrey Copy Share Image
“A chuckle escaped Meredith's lips as Cassie swung from sleepy little girl to sympathetic confidante to vengeful angel all in the course… — Karen Witemeyer Copy Share Image
I've built a comedy brand for myself that is, one, really satisfying and fulfilling personally and, two, has been able to cultivate… — Grace Helbig Copy Share Image
“I'm so much more scared of white guys than black guys. Like an angry black guys would pull out a gun and… — Jeremy Iversen Copy Share Image
“Adam hasn't changed a bit. Still moody. No sense of humor. Generally irritated. Sometimes I can't remember why we're friends” — Tahereh Mafi Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is a really lonely profession: you 'perform for 2000 people, then you go to a hotel room by yourself and… — Anh Do Copy Share Image
Ellen DeGeneres is great. She has this natural style, and she makes comedy look so easy. — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
Comedy is a very personal thing, and some people will find it funny, some people wont. — Stephen Mangan Copy Share Image
“Are you trying not to give me information? Or is cryptic your only way of communicating?” — Robyn Jones Soul Bender Copy Share Image
I don't do stand-up anymore. There are no rules in stand-up comedy. Journalists follow plenty of rules. — Jason Whitlock Copy Share Image
“I do, too, understand. Rosalind wants to find creepy ladies for Daddy so we don't have to worry about stepmothers.” — Jeanne Birdsall Copy Share Image
A careful and sympathetic sense of humour can also be a great asset when there is need to get out of difficult… — John Allen Fraser Copy Share Image
I look for the meaning in what's funny, and I look for what's funny about things that are meaningful to me. — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
“Here." Sam came over, stripped down to his boxers. "Hunch forward and put your head down." Robin looked at him. "My safe… — Suzanne Brockmann Copy Share Image
“Times are really bad. Everyone is writing a book and quoting themselves.” — Omar Kiam Copy Share Image
“Did you just call me…pretty?” “You’re a male version of Helen of Troy. Now run along. Find another something pretty that appeals… — Tiffany Allee Copy Share Image
Nobody should try to play comedy unless they have a circus going on inside. — Ernst Lubitsch Copy Share Image
“I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman.” — Alex Potvin Copy Share Image
“What do you think?” she asked, pouting her lips attempting to imitate a model . . . or a duck. I wasn’t sure which.” — Jamie McGuire Copy Share Image
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away. — Bob Monkhouse Copy Share Image
“Will you treat people who make you miserable, as prison guards, or travel agents?” — Leslie Miklosy Copy Share Image
“The human race can be roughly divided into two categories: ailurophiles and ailurophobes - cat lovers and the underprivileged.” — David Taylor Copy Share Image
Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror.” — Amy Summers Copy Share Image
Comedy springs from the ludicrous; but the ludicrous is stuck in the muck of reality, resolutely hostile to what is impossible. — Cynthia Ozick Copy Share Image
“Cops were distrustful; they always wanted to know why you decided to dig a hole in the middle of nowhere.” — Lou Harper Copy Share Image
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Dear phone, I drop you. I say I hate you. I throw you. I lose you. I forget about you, but I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
