Humor Quotes · Page 274

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

— Rita Rudner

“ Henry Denton: You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you? Elsie: We do if something's funny, sir.”

— Julian Fellowes

If I was stranded on a desert island and I could only bring one thing, I would bring Dora. That girl has…

— Anonymous

As for doing more dramatic work over comedy, I do whatever turns me on at the moment.

— Sandra Bullock

Graphic design is the paradise of individuality, eccentricity, heresy, abnormality, hobbies and humors.

— George Santayana

“Why fall? Let's rise in love together; and while we're at it, let's come up with lamer quotations.”

— Ahmed Mostafa

“How does one address... the master of the vampire executioners? My lord? Your grace? Your stakeness?”

— Colleen Gleason

Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.

— Eric Hoffer

“When he wasn't making quirky jokes about his mother like this—it happened more than once—he mainly spoke at me, about his job…

— Olivia Sudjic

The thought of a comedy with paid prostitutes always seemed so silly and purposeless, for a person hired by me could never…

— Anonymous

“This is awesome," Tsunami said. "I'm so excited." "Going to see my very favorite dragon in all of Pyrrhia." "Are you being…

— Tui T. Sutherland

“The reverend waited for her to be seated and then he bowed his head and blessed the food and the table and…

— Cormac McCarthy

“The man beside me, apropos of nothing, raises his hand and says that there is 'a story' that man started society because…

— David Rakoff

I just looked preposterous. It would be 'King Lear' and I'd walk on with Cordelia's dead body in my arms and the…

— Richard Coles

“Anyone and everyone taking a writing class knows that the secret of good writing is to cut it back, pare it down,…

— Nick Hornby

“Saya Naradja. Ini teman-temanku, Lembu Kendil, Laksmi, Baning, dan Balore. Kami dari Ayodhya." "Dari Ayodhya?" gumam Makara. "Terus aku harus bilang 'wow',…

— A.R. Wirawan

Together with script writers Syd green and Dick Hills, we worked on the comedy ideas for this series.

— Eric Morecambe

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.

— Mike Myers

“ (Media question to Beatles during first U.S. tour 1964) "How do you find America?" "Turn left at Greenland.”

— Ringo Starr

My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at - with a partner, doing comedy sketches.

— Fred Willard

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

— Erma Bombeck

“One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie!”

— Matt Groening

People used to say I'm weak in comedy. But, with 'Mahesh Khaelja' and 'Dookudu,' I have proved that I am good at…

— Mahesh Babu

I had the epiphany that laughter was light, and light was laughter, and that this was the secret of the universe.

— Donna Tartt

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”

— H.N. Turteltaub

There is a close relationship between the ha-ha of humor and the aha! of discovery.

— Roger Von Oech

“Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car. Throw you off a bridge so high, Hope you break…

— Katelyn Lillis

“and a smaller, sad, little-dead-poet sphere with acne scars spins around us lighting the night...”

— N.D. Wilson

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.

— Frank A. Clark

I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.

— Daniel Tosh

“Though there was nowhere one so busy as he/ He was less busy than he seemed to be.”

— Geoffrey Chaucer

I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy.

— Eric Drooker

“I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING”

— Casey Renee Kiser

“People in blind love throw away common sense, conscience and comedy from the life.”

— Amit Kalantri

Comedy has had no history, because it was not at first treated seriously.

— Aristotle

Situation comedies are old-fashioned - they stick to formulas. I resent their music which is old fashioned. I resent the use of…

— Bill Bixby

Some people would say comedy draws from some dark places, from your dark stuff. Life's great optimists aren't necessarily the funniest people.

— Colin Firth

“I put the odds on a psychic deathmatch between Attila the Hun and Virginia Woolf at fifty-fifty.”

— Alison Bechdel

I've always been a huge fan of martial arts and comedy, so Rush Hour was the perfect combination for me.

— Justin Hires

“I spread my arms. “In the Rainbow Jungles of Ever there lives what I affectionately call, killer ducks.”

— Jen Wylie