Boy are like dogs using the bathroom they use it then leave it behind — Carmen Perez Copy Share Image
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“The letter wasn't at all in Milo's style. He would have issued a much more elegant threat on vastly superior stationery.” — Ashley Weaver Copy Share Image
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Charlie Sheen is to stand up comedy to what Larry Flynt is to standing up. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
“This explains why, whenever a person says sie to me, I generally try to kill him, if a stranger.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Tell me, where do I stand compared to Neil and the ankle biter over there? He’s kind of hot, in a Howard… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
“I think Saturday may be Latin for "stay in pajamas til noon then eventually motivate yourself to shower and get ready for… — Bart Millard Copy Share Image
As for jokes, I don't think it's necessarily that what I write is funny. — Peter David Copy Share Image
The Beatles defined their own sense of values and honor. They took stances without ever being politically correct. And they did it… — Sophie B. Hawkins Copy Share Image
Comedy films never die, all they need is a good script instead of merely relying on humour. That said, I would love… — Suraj Venjaramood Copy Share Image
Whence comes this idea that if what we are doing is fun, it can't be God's will? The God who made giraffes,… — Catherine Marshall Copy Share Image
“A good communist,” the man had said, “does not let go of the plough halfway across the paddy and leave the buffalo… — Colin Cotterill Copy Share Image
“Suspended for fighting. It had a ring. Not simply suspended, which could be for any number of inane infractions from skipping algebra… — Bob Flaherty Copy Share Image
“One would think that since Hamilton and Eliza only just got married, our mothers would be satisfied for a while, but instead… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
I wonder what Proust would have made of our present-day locus of collective fantasy, the Internet. I’m guessing he would have seized… — Jennifer Egan Copy Share Image
“...we sang in church " Tata Nzolo "! Which means Father in Heaven or Father of Fish Bait depending on just how… — Barbara Kingsolver Copy Share Image
I feel like women are frequently seen as guests in the comedy world… — Chelsea Peretti Copy Share Image
I think if you understand your role, comedy won't create any tragedy. — Sanjeeda Sheikh Copy Share Image
