Humor Quotes · Page 166

“Now then," he mused, "how does one fly a dragon?”

— Nicole Sager

I think laughter may be a form of courage.

— Linda Ellerbee

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!

— Jerry Coleman

There are a lot of funny things that happen in one's life.

— Pierce Brosnan

“You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.”

— Nicole McKay

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

— Hugh Elliot

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.

— Mignon McLaughlin

I assure you, you will never survive on your wits alone.

— LeBron James

“I tried to walk a mile in a man's shoes once. I ended up running most of the way!! Seems he wanted…

— Neil Leckman

Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you…

— Jean Rostand

“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late”

— Josh Stern

I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor.

— Terry Crews

Compared to the other work I've done on TV, 'Breaking Bad' was funny. In the beginning, I described it as a dark…

— Betsy Brandt

“Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.
”

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

— Bob Hope

Ideally, I'd love to do a comedy just because, work-wise, it'd be a lot of fun.

— Amber Stevens

“Up on the stage people appeared to be dying left right and centre, and for most of the performance I had quite…

— Ali McNamara

My humour is a mix of my parents'. I get the chatty, anecdotal stuff from my dad and the filth from my…

— Sarah Millican

“Then the small man suddenly ran after them and said: "I want to get my haircut. I say, do you know a…

— G.K. Chesterton

“See, that’s just it…You shouldn’t even know sayings like that,” I griped. “It takes normal people years to pick up on all…

— M.A. George

“Now, paper and pencils," said Miss Marcy, clapping her hands. Writing paper is scarce in this house, and I had no intention…

— Dodie Smith

“Nothing will get you anywhere with me," I exclaimed. "I don't know about that." He put on an introspective look that was…

— Richelle Mead

“Some feeling had started in my stomach and was traveling up to my face, and I knew that when it got there…

— Rebecca Stead

“I almost died. Fortunately, my mother was a nurse. She gave me a shot of something, and things turned out brilliantly.” Lucky…

— Tiffanie DeBartolo

“Art is dead, but the student is necrophiliac.”

— Internationale situationniste

Laughter heals on many levels, and so does crying.

— Senoraroy

“Wouldn't want to tarnish my image by looking like a good guy.”

— Janet Evanovich

“If you can't make ends meet, meet them in the middle instead”

— Benny Bellamacina

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

— Groucho Marx

George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.

— Jerry Coleman

“If a boy doesn't respect his mother...run!”

— Tracy Yates

“No man can ever admire a woman the way she admires herself.”

— Meeta Ahluwalia

“People make plans and God laughs. —Jewish proverb Saturday,”

— Jane Healey

Militant feminists, I take my hat off to them, they don't like that.

— Milton Jones

“The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens.”

— Robert A. Heinlein

“Oh…bank vaults,” Leo said. “Never thought about that.”

— Rick Riordan

“I had officially joined the cacophony of sick mother fuckers.”

— Betsy Lerner

The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.

— Ellen Glasgow

“I'm an amateur at life. I'll let you know when I go pro. ”

— D. VonThaer

“You punish liars? In my world, we elect them to public office.”

— Bryan Davis