“We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.” — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“The really witty man does not shower forth his wit so indiscriminately;” — Cecil B. Hartley Copy Share Image
“You know what it's like, finding eight middle-aged guys having tantric sex with ostriches?” — Warren Ellis Copy Share Image
“What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time… — Parker S. Huntington Copy Share Image
I came to London with a girl. We lived together and split up very quickly. I was on my own in London… — Lee Mack Copy Share Image
“If you don't like nice people, try the ones who aren't nice, and see how you like that!” — F. Scott Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor, because marriage throws you curveballs. It is not easy. — Ann Romney Copy Share Image
In the theater, as in life, we prefer a villain with a sense of humor to a hero without one. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
“There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health. Still, I love traveling down there,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If one of your news organization's headlines is about who got kicked off Dancing with the Stars last night, you're… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think it's because it's so different and it takes risks. Plus, it's really smart humor. It gives the audience credit in… — Sarah Chalke Copy Share Image
Twitter is really - I got very addicted to it just because it's so simple, and it's like a video game for… — Paula Pell Copy Share Image
“My attention was like cooking butter, not spreadable at the best of times. And when it was spreadable, it could destroy your… — Shoeburn Ruffet Copy Share Image
He was wearing a look that she found odd and compelling - that amusement that didn’t seem to pass beyond the surface… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Judith, you sound horrible. What's the matter with your voice? Are you coming down with something?" Judith shook her head. "I'm all… — Julie Garwood Copy Share Image
“So you told him I had a goiter?" I whispered incredulously. "I had to say something. And it makes you quite a… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
“If wishes were horses, what the heck would I need wishes for?” — Elisabeth Wheatley Copy Share Image
People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
