“He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“He was an Atlantean...older than dirt and dirt's great-grandfather.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
For me, suspense doesn't have any value if it's not balanced by humor. — Alfred Hitchcock Copy Share Image
My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English. — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
“You've already said you were going to kill me," Alex said, "but I didn't think that meant you were going to bore… — Anthony Horowitz Copy Share Image
“Yeah, well, Tinkerbell comes near me; she's gettin' both barrels and no clapping!” — S.L.J. Shortt Copy Share Image
“Italians can drink hot chocolate and eat ices almost at the same time, without dying!” — Lyubov Dostoyevskaya Copy Share Image
“The thanes nodded and patted each other on the back as if to say, Yes, wow! We really are wise and open-minded!… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“Money may not buy happiness, but it allows you to shop in better places for it. ” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
If man had more of a sense of humor, things might have turned out differently — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like,… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“He then bespattered the youth with abundance of that language which passes between country gentleman who embrace opposite sides of the question;… — Henry Fielding Copy Share Image
“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Ahh . . . maybe we should be going,” Shane said. “Ditch the shoes, Eve. We’ll be running now.” “I love these… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
There is a collective as well as an individual humor inclining peoples to sadness or cheerfulness, making them see things in bright… — Emile Durkheim Copy Share Image
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap as I walk by..XD — TreasurePRINCESSA^_^ Copy Share Image
“The medical profession is unconsciously irritated by lay knowledge.” — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
