“If religion is what gives you hope and purpose, I believe in comedy.” — Cooper Bratten Copy Share Image
“Pia was blackmailed into committing a crime more suicidal than she could possibly have imagined, and she had no one to blame… — Thea Harrison Copy Share Image
“Have you ever been faced with the clear certainty that the culinary arts have a great propensity to rendering themselves unsavory?” — Nicole Sager Copy Share Image
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“A sermon should be like a woman’s dress. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep your attention.” — J. Golden Kimball Copy Share Image
“Life does not start and stop at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.” — Walter Sobchack Copy Share Image
This is what the establishment is scared of: Of joy, the sense of humour, of irony. — Beppe Grillo Copy Share Image
“Kampanye copras-capres, diam-diam saya sedang mengunyah moralitas kosong.” — Ali Zaenal Copy Share Image
Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. — Graham Linehan Copy Share Image
“Joy said she hadn't really understood the meaning of life until Tyffanie had come along, but now she understood it perfectly. Well,… — Wally Lamb Copy Share Image
“I believe you to be Filidor Vesh," said the dwarf. "You are entitled to your beliefs, however ill-founded," Filidor replied. "No doubt… — Matthew Hughes Copy Share Image
“Colonel Cargill was so awful a marketing executive that his services were much sought after by firms eager to establish losses for… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
“Ye know, doan't ye, what it feels like when ye burn yer hand in takin' a cake out of the oven or… — Stella Gibbons Copy Share Image
“That's just like you, man... But wait, you're keeping a bunch of old plastic bags around? Aren't you getting a little too… — Saekisan Copy Share Image
I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God… — Jonathan Winters Copy Share Image
Dad was much more critical. I did a comedy in Windsor and he came round afterwards with a load of paperwork and… — Finty Williams Copy Share Image
I started doing comedy with no plan to do voice work. Voice work came as a function of doing comedy and meeting… — H. Jon Benjamin Copy Share Image
“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I call my wife and daughter before every show and they say, 'Be funny.' — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
