A friend is like a good bra: close to your heart, hard to find, and supportive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Masturbating is a form of stress relief...so go fuck yourself and calm down.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gay marriage needs to be legalized, cause I would watch the shit out of some gay divorce court. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm never gonna be mature. These days that means being boring and losing your sense of humor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is 2.5 inches long and can satisfy a woman every-time? A credit card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see your friend at the bus stop, and they live too far... ha ha ha.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend's prayer because she's asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“multiplication is vexation, division is as bad, the rule of three perplexes me and fractions drive me mad! (the story girl)” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone yells stop; I don't know if it's in the name of love, it's hammer time, or if I should collaborate… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man of sense only trifles with them, plays with them, humors and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? …If I'm trusting you with my money, you should trust… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You remind me of my big toe. Mainly, because I am going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just a reminder that you dont have to tell Facebook or Twitter goodnight...you can just shut up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If there was an award for laziness I'd probably send somebody else to pick it up for me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
SINGLE AND (maybe if youre attractive funny and educated and/or Ryan Gosling ) READY TO MINGLE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughter is simply a smile heard out loud, that echoes happiness and love. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone says expect the unexpected slap them in the face and say 'I bet you didn't expect that!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You're Hell's Angels, then? What chapter are you from?' 'REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for...So wait for me, I will be right back! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey? -Fred Weasley — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If robbers broke into my house ans searched for my money, I'd just laugh and search with them — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im talking about u girl yes the one who teasing me with the clothes lol jk — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I died in my sleep, you can actually say that I died doing what I loved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
