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Humor Quotes by Anonymous

1,159 Humor quotes by Anonymous

All Humor quotes Anonymous’s page

Being silly makes life brighter and keeps smiles alive. A simple joke, like a ketchup bottle that farts, can crack anyone up. Real friends lift you up after a fall, while fake friends just walk away. People who never laugh miss out on the fun that humor brings.

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Hahaha work it

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He who laughs…lasts.

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Bsck up plans 101

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This is funny lol

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Hand me my pants

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Bahaha thats me

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Clones are people, two.

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Same as I can't / won't

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When all else fails ctrl + alt + del...

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If being broke is a joke then you a funny nigga.

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If someone hurts you, make the bitch pay

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This is funny even though I'm blonde.

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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.

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We like words!... They help us do our job well!

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Love is beautiful thing why ruin it with marriage

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(/¢_¢)/ To the window (¢_¢) To the wall

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Im an excellent housekeeper..Every time I get divorce I keep the house.

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If Mitt Romney wins this years election, I volunteer as tribute for the Hunger Games.

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Trying to understand you is like trying to smell the color 9.

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If your password is your name...you deserve to be hacked.

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I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.

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Humor offers an alternative to violence. Humor gives us a choice.

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Adding 'and shit' to the end of any sentence makes it sound cooler and shit…

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When times are troubled, SMILE. When disaster threatens, LAUGH. When asked your age, LIE.

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What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty…

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Although according to certain philosophers it is quite difficult to distinguish the jester from the melancholic, life itself being a comic drama…

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I always wanted to know how long 'forever' was and by looking at some people's relationships, it's around 3 to 4 weeks.

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People say everything happens for a reason... well when I punch you in the face remember that happened for a reason!

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Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs…

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If I was stranded on a desert island and I could only bring one thing, I would bring Dora. That girl has…

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Dear phone, I drop you. I say I hate you. I throw you. I lose you. I forget about you, but I…

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We're gonna add logs to this problem to manipulate it into giving us what we want...like an unhealthy relationship!

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Anger and humor are like the left and right arm. They complement each other. Anger empowers the poor to declare their uncompromising…

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“Lampaxa Vorheridine? My Latin was never very good. What does that Translate to?" "Um, nothing. It wasn't named by an Earth scientist.…

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“Thank you.” A bright blush stained her cheeks. “For last night. For chasing the monsters away…” “Anytime. It’s kind of my job…

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“Worrying about clothes, though, is easy to understand. When it comes to clothes, people are very competitive, especially if they're movie stars.…

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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny…

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Inevitably, anytime we are too vulnerable we feel the need to protect ourselves from further wounds. So we resort to sarcasm, cutting…

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“Chancellor Gerhard Schröder has several times made statements to the effect that we Europeans should not cultivate a superficial anti-Americanism. But mine…

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I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all…

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More by Anonymous

And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back

Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.

You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.…

Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t…

Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.

“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care…

Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,…

Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past…

Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer…

Im sorry I ever tried...

Being betrayed by the one you love is the worst feeling in the world...

Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.

The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much.

“Start a business, not a startup”

The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,…