Dear Orange People, There's a difference between looking Tann Or looking like you rolled around in a bag of Cheetos ! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny, people don't think of 'Cloverfield' as being restrained because it's a handycam movie, but the only reason it's a handycam… — Matt Reeves Copy Share Image
Social networking is like a club. Twitter is the dance floor, tumblr is the bar and facebook is the people crying in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You’ve kidnapped my friend. Sucked her brain out! Not that she had much to begin with, but—” “Bite me.” The laughter didn’t… — Lili St. Crow Copy Share Image
Daft Wee Stories' is, as the title says, daft wee stories. I just sort of rattled them out, tried to make them… — Limmy Copy Share Image
“Something he must read, when he was not riding the pony, or running and hunting, or listening to the talk of men...… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
“I moved to assist, but never got the chance. there was some pretty violent banging for a minute, and then a tearing… — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
“You never laugh," she said. "You behave as if everything is funny to you, but you never laugh. Sometimes you smile when… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I'm doing a pilot for Comedy Central with the band Steel Panther. They're faux heavy metal. They started as kind of a… — Brian Posehn Copy Share Image
I figured out Karl Rove's political strategy -- make gas so expensive, no Democrats can afford to go to the polls. — John F. Kerry Copy Share Image
Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out… — Zach Braff Copy Share Image
Lou Holtz, I was also a huge fan of. He was really funny. I think that's a big part of why I… — Matt Besser Copy Share Image
“The situation was absurd. He wore riding boots with spurs. Her hair tumbled about her like a shaggy pony's. They were in… — Marissa Doyle Copy Share Image
That awkward moment When you are busy writing a rather long but important article and you start approaching the word limit of… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later sayingK ... Are you asking to be punched? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are 2 reasons I haven't killed you. I don't know what to do with the body and I'm the most likely… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We are here to affirm, not to deny... when we affirm all that is God, all that is not God is automatically… — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
I hate when I cant remember if I am drying off my face with the same side of the towel I dried… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You know,” he says, voice still low.“I have had nothing but trouble since you walked into my life.” “I’d walk straight back… — L.H. Cosway Copy Share Image
There's nothing else as pleasant as being unpleasant when there's nothing else to do, and there's usually nothing else to do. — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
If you will change everything will change for you. Don’t wait for things to change. Change doesn’t start out there, change starts… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
And what is the Scientific Community doing about these problems, young people? THEY'RE CLONING SHEEP. Great! Just what we need! Sheep that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It's funny how I use social media because I don't use it to promote my restaurants that much. I use it for… — Tom Colicchio Copy Share Image
It's so funny to think about it now, but I kind of toned everything down about myself for 'Idol.' When it came… — Adore Delano Copy Share Image
It's funny, I don't know where I would place myself in the literary landscape. I really just write the book that I… — Dan Brown Copy Share Image
I would love to act. I would love to do movies. If it was the right part, it would be really cool...… — Britney Spears Copy Share Image
All I can do is keep my nose down and shoot the scene, shoot the scene, make it funny, make it funny,… — Jay Chandrasekhar Copy Share Image
I already have two movies in the can, low-key, which are 'Vincent-N-Roxxy' and 'Keanu' with Key and Peele, which is my first… — Jason Mitchell Copy Share Image
America has become so tense and nervous it has been years since I have seen anyone sleep in church - and that… — Norman Vincent Peale Copy Share Image
The funny thing about cinema is, usually when they do a story that has African Americans in it, there always has to… — Jim Brown Copy Share Image
“101 Reason why its its great to be a woman : Since the advent of feminism, we can publicly ogle male bodies… — Summersdale Publishers Copy Share Image
With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
We developed our own type of Igudesman and Joo electric violin, let's say, and funny enough, the shape of it was developed… — Aleksey Igudesman Copy Share Image
We do not learn so much by our successes as we learn by failures - our own and others! Especially if we… — Frank Lloyd Wright Copy Share Image
“Okay, so let's say we're all in the bubble. What's tonight then? Part of the bubble too? Because, it can't be all… — Margaux Froley Copy Share Image
The funny thing is that making a pilot is sort of an audition, at least for me. There's something psychological there, where… — Justin Kirk Copy Share Image
If a man tells you that he's fallen in love at first sight with you, just punch him. It's just another way… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
