God's Word will never fall into disrepair. But here's what happens when we don't travel on it: We fall into disrepair! — David Jeremiah Copy Share Image
You and I are told increasingly we have to choose between left or right. Well, I'd like to suggest there is no… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
“1. You left a multipack of Mars Bars on top of your wardrobe. Can I have one? Dad x 2. I had… — Holly Smale Copy Share Image
I don't like the five-person group dynamic. I just never have. It doesn't make sense to me that six people would just… — Rosa Salazar Copy Share Image
There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very… — Geoffrey Parfitt Copy Share Image
Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't. And if you remember what we did on BATMAN, as the scripts were written very… — Burt Ward Copy Share Image
Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family? Me: *sits with family* Me: *gets insulted by entire family* Me: *goes back… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
That's a very nice, generic-sounding question: "When did you know you were funny?" But it pre-supposes that I think I'm really hilarious.… — Rob Huebel Copy Share Image
“Jassaline's little potion seems to have brought up every meal I've had in the past five years." said Locke. "Nothing left to… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
“I have the feeling we just made a deal with the devil, and he's going to come back and want our first-born… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
A few years ago we colonised this place with some of our finest felons, thieves, muggers, alcoholics and prostitutes, a strain of… — Ian Wooldridge Copy Share Image
A guy donated blood to his girlfriend when they broke up, he wanted his blood back.. the girl threw a bloody napkin… — Megz Copy Share Image
People ask what those women saw in me. Let's face it, I wasn't a bad-looking stud. But that's not it. It's the… — Artie Shaw Copy Share Image
“She's packed her topside fundamentals so tight into her low-cut dress that it's only a matter of time before she busts her… — Moira Young Copy Share Image
When you get a text while you're walking and you start to walk slower and slower til youre just standing there texting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley… — Carolyn Jones Copy Share Image
When I get in an elevator, before I press a button, I look at everyone inside & say: Are you ready to… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
“That evening I was the sole guest in the huge dining room, and it was the same startled person who took my… — W. G. Sebold Copy Share Image
I might smile through the tears that fall for a scraped knee, I might laugh at something so stupid it's pointless, I… — Aly Schneider Copy Share Image
Politicians are like bananas when they first come in they're green, then they turn yellow, and finally they're rotten! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“In school we chanted, along with our teacher, I am the Captain of my fate, I am the Master of my soul,… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction, I think. But it's funny what comes down the… — Jeff Bridges Copy Share Image
When you grow up with siblings, you can be like, 'Isn't this weird? Isn't this funny? Do we agree on this, or… — Sam Richardson Copy Share Image
“I shook my head. "Not Interested" I said. he straightened up. "Not interested in what?" In you." I couldn't be more blunt.… — Karen E. Olson Copy Share Image
I guess what I always found funny was the human condition. There is a certain comedy and pathos to trouble and accidents.… — John Prine Copy Share Image
This happens to me EVERY TIME I'm telling my mom the truth. I start to laugh so hard I cry..And I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've grown up around that sort of petty crime, getting into trouble and trying to get out of it. What's funny is… — Michelle Keegan Copy Share Image
“If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
A lot of people think that Jesus is coming back. That's fine, it's your right. But you know, I live in New… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
I learned that you can be powerful and funny at the same time, and you don't have to be liked. I think… — Michelle Buteau Copy Share Image
I'm the ultimate studier of comedy. I grew up in a very funny household. My dad is the king of one-liners; my… — Susan Kelechi Watson Copy Share Image
I think the most horrible name for a crime has to be manslaughter. ... "I slaughtered a man! Just like a pig!… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
I used to love being the class clown. I loved to make jokes and make people laugh. There was a set of… — Issa Rae Copy Share Image
I thought we lived in a high tech world, then I realised that we still have to type the messages before we… — Alisha Rogerson Copy Share Image
I worked in a paper mill all my adult life and there were a lot of funny guys there. So you pick… — Donald Ray Pollock Copy Share Image
I know you will not Believe me because I am too old But I have New Hope for you I have New… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I have flown twice over Mount St. Helens out on our West Coast. I'm not a scientist and I don't know the… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
