My mom never saw me funny, which is really sad. She was everything I wanted to be. She was gorgeous, magnetic, creative,… — Taylor Tomlinson Copy Share Image
When WORDS fail, eyes speak. When eyes fail,HEART speaks. When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose¦ — Sadie Copy Share Image
I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolute most important thing. It… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
“It dawned on him that he really could be a cop if he wanted to, and it dawned on him that he'd… — Doug Dorst Copy Share Image
“That was very naughty,' Hawke chided, snatching the sword out of my hand as if I hadn't been holding onto it. 'You… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Johnny,the super,stares forward.His new tangerine hair half blinds me above a purple,leopard print shirt.I swing the door wide.“Come in,Johnny.”He eyes Fenris.“I think… — Julie Reece Copy Share Image
I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
So if all the parents tell their kids to be leaders and not followers what do we end up with? A bunch… — Rachel Copy Share Image
I love film, but it's funny going to drama school for three years, where you spend most of your time training for… — Tuppence Middleton Copy Share Image
“Skulduggery." "Fletcher." Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment. "I'm sorry, what are we doing now?" "Shaking hands,"… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates… — Chelsea Peretti Copy Share Image
“Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Pastors are starting to get wily. When people tell my friend, 'I'm not being fed,' he replies, 'I'm prefectly happy to spoon… — Jonathan Acuff Copy Share Image
“She bared her teeth at me. “Screw you, shifter!” “Ah, is our honeymoon period over so quickly? You wanted to jump my… — Cori Moore Copy Share Image
“Oooo...He's being a saucy motherfu*ker tonight. He does wrong and I'm the one who gets treated like the whore of Babylon. Fine,… — S.K. Logsdon Copy Share Image
“my problem is that my body acts before my brain thinks... it sometimes brings me huge trouble, or also huge success. recently,… — Hiroko Sakai Copy Share Image
Your texting your friends then you send a dirty shirtless pic of your boyfriend … but you accdentily send it to your… — Thinkpinkbarbii Copy Share Image
Ambition is a funny thing. In cricket, as in many professions, it tends to take you on a journey away from where… — Andrew Flintoff Copy Share Image
“She is still typing away when Monique bangs into the apartment, slams her bag on the table and says, "If I were… — Katherine Heiny Copy Share Image
'Lucky' is for laughs, and there's really nothing funny that I'm doing on 'Dexter.' I think more than anything, both comment on… — Colin Hanks Copy Share Image
You're either singing on TV or in front of a full cathedral and there's a bit of pressure there. I know it… — Alastair Cook Copy Share Image
We never live, but we hope to live; and as we are always arranging to be happy, it must be that we… — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When I was young I believed that I could save the whole world,but when I grow up I find that even the… — Boboniu Copy Share Image
It's weird because I grew up in this town, so the things I really dug, I was constantly around them. Like Alyssa… — Dante Basco Copy Share Image
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. ...… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Twinkle twinkle jatt di car Kadi glassi yaarya day naal Punjabi Bhangra thay chicken fry Always tali and never cry ;) Yupe...that's… — Inder Bc Copy Share Image
They keep saying there is a perfect person for everyone out there but I seriously think that mine got hit by a… — Bernajoy Vaal Copy Share Image
Behind every good man, there is a good woman. And behind every good woman, there's another man looking at her butt. — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
Its funny how when I'm loud, people tell me to be quiet, but when I'm quiet, people ask me whats wrong with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Q: What's your opinion on long distance relationships? A: Honestly, I know a lot of the time they don't really work out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade's hand… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
To me, crying is not a sign of weakness. She wants it that bad and she puts her whole heart into it.… — Kerri Walsh Copy Share Image
I find it funny how at British festivals there are such inflated egos. It's rare that I even talk to anyone at… — Ben Howard Copy Share Image
People always ask about my dad and his comedic influence. It's funny because my mom is really the comedian of our household. — Dan Levy Copy Share Image
I've never found kicks to the groin particularly funny, although recent work in the genre of the buddy movie suggests audience research… — Roger Ebert Copy Share Image
No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
