Everything is on a reduced scale here in the Polar regions; we can't afford to be extravagant. — Roald Amundsen Copy Share Image
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you new to a school and everyone stares at you — Jawon Stewwert Copy Share Image
Beware of harking back to what you once were when God wants you to be something you have never been. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny how much of the 'old times' are still rooted in modern America. — Dave Myers Copy Share Image
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: What do you want to be? Nikki: I want to be a lawyer. Mable 'Madea' Simmons: That's good, I… — Madea Copy Share Image
That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not. — Fred Willard Copy Share Image
As a cartoonist I do what I find funny. As an editor I have a broader approach realizing that humor is inherently… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
“I hate you.' My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me. She really… — Stephen Chbosky Copy Share Image
My CIA colleagues were smart, dedicated, funny, and creative. Yes, there was sometimes stifling bureaucracy, boredom, colleagues who never should have been… — Valerie Plame Copy Share Image
What are days for? Days are where we live. They come, they wake us Time and time over. Theyare to be happy… — Philip Larkin Copy Share Image
When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? You don't say anything, just stand there... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work. — Thomas A. Edison Copy Share Image
I think I hang out with some pretty witty people, but we're never that funny. — Bobcat Goldthwait Copy Share Image
This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket…so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's go swimming better yet I'm gonna go skinny dippin you can go chunky dunkin. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And for a minute, maybe longer... everything that threatens us, threatens to save us. — James Galvin Copy Share Image
God doesn’t work on sense; He works on grace. God called you, and God called me. He knew what He was doing. — Beth Moore Copy Share Image
“Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So you call it love, and its obviously lust? Who was your grammar teacher? — Collins Hasty Copy Share Image
I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At times it is strangely sedative to know the extent of your own powerlessness. — Erica Jong Copy Share Image
“I want to paint you.' He gently lifted me into his arms. 'Nude would be best,' he said in my ear.” — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
