Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience — Oupa Copy Share Image
When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talkto hear my robot voice...Lol. I still do… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I make home movies-therefore I live. I live-therefore I make home movies — Jonas Mekas Copy Share Image
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer Copy Share Image
Dear Bathrooms, You're taking all my business away. Sincerely, Real photo booths — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The funny thing is, I was never purposely blonde. I just got highlights, and then you get highlights over highlights, and then… — Cheri Oteri Copy Share Image
I think my way of being "funny" is just saying things that people think but have learned not to say, whereas, I… — Victoria Chang Copy Share Image
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Alright! 2 is out Demi wins.All those girls are beautiful. & towhoever posted Demi hate who admins this page, please fess up.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oftentimes, a funny situation is funny because it's uncomfortable or weird. The most memorable stories, or the stuff that you repeat to… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
Women in silk stockings can conquer men and men in silk stockings can conquer the bank. 女人ç¨ä¸è¢å¾æäºç·äººï¼ç·äººç¨ä¸è¢å¾æäºé¶è¡ã — Boboniu Copy Share Image
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It was the most fun I've ever had on a movie. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I… — Mickey Rourke Copy Share Image
While conscience is our friend, all is at peace; however once it is offended, farewell to a tranquil mind. — Mary Wortley Montagu Copy Share Image
“It turns out, Holder doesn’t have an issue with Mormons at all. He just has an issue with assholes.” — Colleen Hoover Copy Share Image
We can hardly wait for you to blow your tax refund on our destination wedding. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern. — Art Spander Copy Share Image
I follow the quote, Always be true to yourself because I only lie to others — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker. — Keenen Ivory Wayans Copy Share Image
I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation. — Jon Hamm Copy Share Image
At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wife; and at forty, the judgment. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
I grew up knowing women are hilarious. There was a lot of respect. — Jamie-Lee O'Donnell Copy Share Image
Why did Susan fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susan. — Deezy Da Dreadhead Copy Share Image
We Love Water. We Thank Water. We Respect Water. We Are All Water. We Are All One. — Masaru Emoto Copy Share Image
Human beings are like tea-bags. You don't know your own strength until you get into hot water. — Bruce Laingen Copy Share Image
Roses are red Violets are blue, I was born beautiful What happened to you? — Myothersweetangel199 Copy Share Image
Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself to seriously is attractive to me. -Niall Horan — One Direction Copy Share Image
Today you are you. Thats truer than true. Theres noone alive that is youer than you. :) — Dr Seuss Copy Share Image
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
