I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
When you really really want to slap someone do it...just make sure to say 'mosquito' when you do it — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
The mere possibility provides no warrant for denying what I clearly grasp. — William Lane Craig Copy Share Image
Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. — WC Fields Copy Share Image
The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
The biggest risk for this generation is to have a haircut from a new salon..!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving is Americas national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. — Michael Dresser Copy Share Image
“... you saw how he was more than happy to serve Amarantha to remain unscathed.' ... Rhys let out a dark laugh.… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and calloused, tough with muscle and old scars. The night… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
I like jokes and one-liners. I enjoy entertaining and making people laugh, being the funny man. But when I'm launched into unfamiliar… — Keith Flint Copy Share Image
“Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…” "What about the tutorials, the… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have made it to last longer, but you… — Neil Simon Copy Share Image
Your graduation is merely the starting point of me watching you get fat and bald on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I know you're saying something profound, but it's hard to focus when your tits are out.” — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets. — Luke Treadaway Copy Share Image
How the hell should I know? Most of the people my age are dead. You could look it up. — Casey Stengel Copy Share Image
A wise black man once told me... do you have any spare change you can give me? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible… — Maxwell Maltz Copy Share Image
It all went by so fast, didn't it? I wish I could do it all over again, I really do. — Michael Jackson Copy Share Image
Dating your exes again are just like shopping at your own garage sale. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In f-major, c* is a sonority contained within the overtones of the tonic f*. — Jean-Philippe Rameau Copy Share Image
Remember that true beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and lipstick tubes — Jeffree Star Copy Share Image
If you devote yourself to more than yourself ... you will have more than yourself to show for yourself. — Andy Stanley Copy Share Image
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
Men have to recognize that women are not all the same when it comes to what can get them aroused. — Drew Pinsky Copy Share Image
I have NEVER worked with a better lead generating company! Thank You Zillow. — Spencer Rascoff Copy Share Image
