The thing about quotes on the internet is that you can't confirm their validity. — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
In anything we do, any endeavor, it's not what you do; it's why you do it — Howard Schultz Copy Share Image
Knowledge gained through experience is far superior and many times more useful than bookish knowledge. — Mahatma Gandhi Copy Share Image
For those who know nothing about how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
You'll never learn how to do your endings until you FINISH your endings. — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“There was the smell of old books, a smell that has a way of making all libraries seem the same. Some say… — Scott Douglas Copy Share Image
“Abel was brushing the snow off his parka while Micha was dancing around him, still balancing the plate of cookies, singing, 'We're… — Antonia Michaelis Copy Share Image
A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny… — Carl Reiner Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I have the gift of looking at something a bit differently and making it funny. I'm not sure why… — Henry Cho Copy Share Image
That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake,… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV. It's not like you had me fooled. What's behind it...an umbrella?… — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
“All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.” — Carl White Copy Share Image
“Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.” — Delian Zahariev Copy Share Image
We serve a God who is waiting to hear from you, and He can't wait to respond. — Priscilla Shirer Copy Share Image
I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Don't write what you know. Write what you love. That's what will keep you writing. — Chris Humphreys Copy Share Image
That's all I did - that's all I ever did - try to do what Billy Strayhorn did. — Gil Evans Copy Share Image
One can describe them as a boa: when it feels threatened, it runs to somewhere else. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
If I look at a ref funny, I'm getting a tech. If I say anything wrong on the street, it's on Worldstar… — Matt Barnes Copy Share Image
The nation is marching along a permanently high plateau of prosperity — Irving Fisher Copy Share Image
The loving touch, like music, often utters the things that cannot be spoken. — Ashley Montagu Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your legs go numb and try to get up ,but you end up falling on the ground... — Sarahi Gonzalez Copy Share Image
But there was nothing I could do with the emotion really. It just went away after a while. — Tao Lin Copy Share Image
If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people. — Karel Capek Copy Share Image
If you can't be a hero, you can at least be funny while being a chicken. — Ina May Gaskin Copy Share Image
Opportunities are always everywhere, learn to see and create them. — Jacob Gelt Dekker Copy Share Image
Christmas is telling you that you could never get to heaven on your own. God had to come to you. — Timothy Keller Copy Share Image
Education is not something to prepare you for life; it is a continuous part of life. — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
I've had very bleak experiences in hospitals, but they were also sometimes very funny. — Peter Capaldi Copy Share Image
I don't see myself as celebrity like other people do. I just think that's funny. — Darci Lynne Farmer Copy Share Image
A funny line can never exist on its own. It needs to be surrounded by mood and circumstances. — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
