I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour. — Richard Pryor Copy Share Image
If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Men are like accessories. Its nice to have them but not really needed... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think there are a lot of shows out there that value being hip or cool over being funny and heartfelt. — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
Photography was the only thing that mattered in my life and I gave it everything. — Anton Corbijn Copy Share Image
“If it weren't for dreams," he said. "I wouldn't know half the things I know about the future. They're better than Olympus… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
My paintings capture the humor, zaniness, and depth of the Batman villains as well as the Freudian motivations of Batman as an… — Adam West Copy Share Image
“It’s funny to me how a man can do all the dirt in the world and the only way they know how… — Demettrea Copy Share Image
During the summer I could stay up so late without any problem, now that school's back I can barely stay up past 10. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You have to be quite aware that if you are really looking for something funny it is probably not going to happen. — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
“How are you feeling?" I leaned away from him. "Gross." Aiden frowned. "Gross?" "I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
There are many that I will not post. I'm not trying to show a blatant death. I'm trying to show something funny… — Rex Chapman Copy Share Image
Im a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, which is apart of nature and nature… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Power is the ability to define phenomena, and make it act in a desired manner. — Huey Newton Copy Share Image
I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Conversation between me and my enemy…'DUDE I SAW U ON TV!!'...'REALLY MAN?! WHERE!!'…'ANIMAL PLANET'. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I have issues with food and weight and I can make that funny. The audience loves it. I have fun with it. — John Pinette Copy Share Image
“I have never wanted to punch a highway in the face as badly as I do right now.” — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I guess you were just one of those people that walked into my life, taught me a lesson, and then walked away — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
Beauty can come from the strangest of places, even the most disgusting of places, — Alexander McQueen Copy Share Image
The thing that's wrong with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
Humor is essential to survival. Funny poems are vastly underrated. Very underwritten. — Rachel Zucker Copy Share Image
We realized that no one of us could be as good as all of us playing unselfishly. — Bill Bradley Copy Share Image
