I have no place in my life for someone who is sure he can do everything. --Steelmind — Mercedes Lackey Copy Share Image
I was born intelligent but education ruined it. just kidding — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut. — Clement Freud Copy Share Image
What's this business of being a writer. It's just putting one word after another. — Irving Thalberg Copy Share Image
There are known knowns and known unknowns, but what we should be worried about most is the unknown unknowns. — Gary Marcus Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your mother compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Isn't it weird how with some people you never run out of things to talk about but with others its you always… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“Reading is the noblest of all the hobbies, that is why people mention it so frequently in their resume even if they… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
(already did 16) 17: Something that has ticked me off lately? -This chick cheated on her boyfriend, told my best friend right… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny. — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
“I’m guessing you don’t have to share a bathroom at your house,” I say with the casual tone of someone who isn’t… — Sarah Castille Copy Share Image
I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh*t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you don't do stupid things when your young, then you won't have funny stuff to talk about when you get old. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. — W. H. Auden Copy Share Image
Something rubs off from everything you read, observe, and tinker with. — R. F. Delderfield Copy Share Image
Laughter is the best medicine... but if you laugh for no reason, you need a medicine... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? — Anthony de Mello Copy Share Image
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Maydens, be they never so foolyshe, yet beeing fayre they are commonly fortunate. — John Lyly Copy Share Image
Yo can’t reason someone out of something he didn’t reason himself into. — Jonathan Raymond Copy Share Image
There are more 'Don'ts' in golf than there are in any other avocation in life. — Arnold Haultain Copy Share Image
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos? — Ron Alderson Copy Share Image
If you can't pay for a thing, don't buy it. If you can't get paid for it, don't sell it. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
Out of a hundred years a few minutes were made that stayed with me, not a hundred years. — Antonio Porchia Copy Share Image
Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Being so pale, your mom has to make you wear blush someday's ._. Cause otherwise you'd look like a ghost…lol — Rachel Copy Share Image
But it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want. — Chris Bohjalian Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be the first. It didn't matter where you start counting from. — Pranav Copy Share Image
