Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment chemist — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being seventy has its advantages. I was outspoken before, but now what have I got to keep quiet about? — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
“You're a dick," Ellison said. "Or, is it just that you suck it?" Aaron knew by the stillness in the room that… — Terra Laurent Copy Share Image
It's funny how comedy is, you look at people like French and Saunders, when they started out they were very alternative. A… — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
Smart, truly hilarious, and entirely sympathetic. Like a hot bubble bath or a holiday at the beach, you won't want it to… — Cecily von Ziegesar Copy Share Image
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“I can’t stay. I have to go train for a while. You can come with me if you want.” He kisses my… — Kristen Proby Copy Share Image
Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again"… — John Wayne Copy Share Image
As a person, Stephen Sondheim is a very funny, very dry and very shy man. I've never witnessed any diva-ish moments, he… — Michael Ball Copy Share Image
When you write something you know, you're making a story that will work, whether or not there's bits taken. It's always funny… — Greta Gerwig Copy Share Image
Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of having me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can't be mad at people for being funny and putting on cool pants. You can get pants, too, if you want! — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
“In America, the least amusing people are its professional entertainers.” — Neil Postman Copy Share Image
Pro Publica distorts the relationship between organizations and their consultants, — Scott Raab Copy Share Image
Unless your girlfriend is Rihanna, she's not gonna love the way you lie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know what I'm thinking bout, I think. Nothing. And as much of it as I can. — Alice Walker Copy Share Image
Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Copy Share Image
If you have someone on the set for the hair, why would you not have someone for the words? — Louis Malle Copy Share Image
Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Once (Stan) Musial timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy. — Warren Spahn Copy Share Image
WIFE, Someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
