May you be less of an international embarrassment to America this summer than the cast of Jersey Shore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Has anyone else ever noticed the Krusty Krab is located in bikini bottom?, that can't be a coincidence, can it? — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
Usability rules the web. Simply stated, if the customer can't find a product, then he or she will not buy it. — Jakob Nielsen Copy Share Image
Why do they call it a 'Wonder Bra?' Maybe its because when you take it off you wonder where your boobs went. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some say that life’s a b-ch, but I’ma keep flirting and f-cking that b-ch for her money and Louis V purchases. — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
“Dan moans behind me, reminding her of the problem. She straightens in fear at the sound of his voice, peers over my… — Jasinda Wilder Copy Share Image
“Amren,” Rhys drawled, “sends her regards. And as for this one … ” I tried not to flinch away from meeting his… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
“... they only trusted the wisdom of people brighter and more worldly than themselves when it was expressed in the vocabulary and… — John Barnes Copy Share Image
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very… — Pierre Marie Gallois Copy Share Image
Now, mark it. This may be strong language, but heed it. The people mean it, and, my friends of the Eastern Democracy,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you deserve someone better when the one youve always fought for is also the one youve always cried for. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I love 'Another Round.' It's Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton's podcast that's through BuzzFeed, and they're real funny and really themselves. And… — Josh Gondelman Copy Share Image
They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
When you come to a place where you have to left or right,' says Sister Ruth, 'go straight ahead. — Kathleen Norris Copy Share Image
“Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
The things most worth wanting are not available everywhere all the time. — Alice Waters Copy Share Image
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
May your boss not attend the synagogue you pretend to be going to during the Jewish holidays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The sight of a womans cleavage reduces a mans ability to think clearly by 50%…per boob. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are like...Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so… — Minnie Pearl Copy Share Image
Twitter's a lot of work! That's the first thing I would say. There's so much pressure to be funny. — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
They could have been removed. They could have been hidden. They could have been destroyed. — Tony Blair Copy Share Image
Please accept my friend request because based on your name, city, and photo, I'm certain we're soul mates — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man. — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
Happiness consists not of having, but of being. It is a warm glow of the heart at peace with itself. — David O. McKay Copy Share Image
The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out". — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
There are many To-morrows, my Love, my Love, There is only one To-day. — Joaquin Miller Copy Share Image
