All religions are the same. They all lead to God. God is everybody. — Neem Karoli Baba Copy Share Image
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. — Henry Fielding Copy Share Image
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight! — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Best merchants are the ones who dictate cool, not those who try to predict it! — Kevin Plank Copy Share Image
I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks. — Euripides Copy Share Image
“He wondered if her spy had stumbled upon his last night. When did he start thinking like his mother?” — Johanna Lindsey Copy Share Image
I was doing a college show for the first time, and there was this 20-year-old gay male who's been diabetic his entire… — Jessica Williams Copy Share Image
“Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won’t sparkle in… — Nick Shamhart Copy Share Image
Sometimes people will raise a hand to their mouth in shock at something I've said. Sometimes people will laugh and berate themselves… — Liz Carr Copy Share Image
If you tell the reader it's funny, then the audience is like an audience at a stand-up comedy club and they expect… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt. Where did the camel… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“A brick could create a clear winner in a fight if instead of fighting pillows against blankets, you fought bricks against blankets.” — Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
“What is so often laughable, in the stories of Kundera's Czechoslovakia, is how grimly serious just about everything turns out to be,… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
I feel so proud of myself, see I bought a Rubik cube and finished it in 6 months while the box said… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Strange about learning; the farther I go the more I see that I never knew even existed. — Daniel Keyes Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All exercises that you do with your own bodyweight are great. — Arnold Schwarzenegger Copy Share Image
If Damon Wayans is not breaking, it's a miracle. He is so funny that he makes everyone die laughing. — Casey Wilson Copy Share Image
It is harmful to compare yourself to others. Others will do that for you. — John Wooden Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
The craft of the merchant is this bringing a thing where it abounds to where it is costly. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
Withdraw to the untroubled quietude deep within the soul, and refresh yourself. — Marcus Aurelius Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I used to pretend wafer sticks were cigarettes... I was just that badass — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman… Because Women don't run behind Unsuccessful Men! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of my very close friends asked me -: Hey! Did you learn Arabic? And I replied . . . . . . . *ILLA* — Irfan Khan Copy Share Image
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you teach your children nothing else, teach them the Golden Rule and "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
The point of life is not to get anywhere-it is to notice that you are, and have always been, already there. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
“It's funny how you can share a flat with someone and still miss them so much.” — Sophia Bennett Copy Share Image
I saw a seagull hanging out by a lake, but I said, "Don't worry, Dude. I won't say anything." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
