Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
I only got a toilet seat cushion so my face would be comfortable after an intense night of drinking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn't want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that. — Jamie Foxx Copy Share Image
True friends are like diapers they never leave your ass, even if they are full of shit. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dalmatians are not only superior to other dogs, they are like all dogs, infinitely less stupid than men. — Eugene O'Neill Copy Share Image
1st month of school: look nice and dress up. Rest of the school year: Rocking the homelss grandma look. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God intends that everyone who has embraced the gospel become a part of the great enterprise of spreading the gospel. — Jerry Bridges Copy Share Image
Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined… — Stacey King Copy Share Image
What's so funny?" "Your panties have a bow," he said. I looked down. I was wearing a short tank top -not mine-… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our capital, as we are determined to destroy their… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
It seems that fears are all based on these things: illusion and future thinking, with a side order of 'What if.' 'What… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Can't help but laugh at this dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got cock blocked by Visa. — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
