If I don't have an erection when I'm doing a drawing, I know it's no good. — Tom of Finland Copy Share Image
Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change? — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“When I turn back to Jase, he’s again beaming at me. “You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this… — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
Because Vietnam was not a declared war, the veterans are not even eligible for the G. I. Bill of Rights with respect… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
When you fall, fake friends smirk and walk away. True friends help you up and ask if you're okay. I am a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly realize they have been talking to the wrong… — Elizabeth Jones Copy Share Image
“Nero lowered his head to speak in her ear, keeping his hands on her arms to lock her in place. “My problem… — Sarah Brianne Copy Share Image
Letterman is very intimidating because he's so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he's a little squeamish about certain… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
If pregant girl woddle when they walk ALL thow poeple that look like dudes and sag there pains are pregant girls?????????????????? — Unknow Copy Share Image
