Funny Quotes · Page 12

Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th.

— Murray Walker

Hahaha work it

— Anonymous

I'm not very funny!

— Kimbra

God is what's good in me.

— John Gunther

Are you not entertained?

— Russell Crowe

Death doesn't frighten me.

— Princess Diana

Beauty only happens once.

— Jacques Derrida

“Sane is boring.”

— R. A. Salvatore

“I love it when you talk medical to me,” he said”

— john green

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

— Henny Youngman

I cant believe youre 50; 49 maybe, but never 50!

— Anonymous

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

— Dale Carnegie

I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting.

— Martha Plimpton

Getting out of one car and getting into another

— John Lennon

Klonopin - more deadly than coke

— Stevie Nicks

I'm always at least ten minutes early.

— Richelle Mead

You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous.

— Neil Gaiman

Happy Mother's Day to the greatest mom in the world besides Michelle Obama.

— Anonymous

If you do not want to be in love so mad, don't go wrong to gaze on me.

— Innah Delos Angeles

Time is your most precious gift, because you only have a set amount of it.

— Rick Warren

Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says 'Trust me, you dont want to know.'

— Anonymous

I feel that life is short, so we should be disciplined, but at the same time we should have a good time.

— Wyclef Jean

Don't cry because it's over. Smile & laugh because his new girlfriend looks like a horse :D

— Anonymous

I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination.

— James Acaster

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by…

— Frankie Boyle

It's Funny But 90 Percent Of People At Some Point In Their Life Have Tried To Close The Fridge Slowly To See…

— Pacifiersucker

I have flown twice over Mount St. Helens out on our West Coast. I'm not a scientist and I don't know the…

— Ronald Reagan

I worked in a paper mill all my adult life and there were a lot of funny guys there. So you pick…

— Donald Ray Pollock

I know you will not Believe me because I am too old But I have New Hope for you I have New…

— Anonymous

I thought we lived in a high tech world, then I realised that we still have to type the messages before we…

— Alisha Rogerson

I used to love being the class clown. I loved to make jokes and make people laugh. There was a set of…

— Issa Rae

“We conquer the Independence Day aliens by having a Macintosh laptop computer upload a software virus to the mothership (which happens to…

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

T-T-T-T TODAY JOUNIOR

— BILLY MADISON

The British are so funny.

— Rose Byrne

“You cannot negotiate art.”

— Amit Kalantri

Nice shot br0!

— The_fox

Exactly!!XDDD Exactly!!XDDD

— Anonymous

I am luminous with age.

— Meridel Le Sueur

The dead have a presence.

— Don DeLillo

I was struck all on a heap.

— Richard Brinsley Sheridan