Dating a crazy person is like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ask the right questions if you're going to find the right answers. — Vanessa Redgrave Copy Share Image
Why is a penis the lightest thing in the world? Even a thought can raise it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why are you so funny? If she asks this question, you got her. She is yours. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Money isn't the most important thing. It is important, of course. I am not Mahatma Gandhi. — Jurgen Klopp Copy Share Image
It is an inconvenience, being located in a city where taxes are ludicrously high, where you pay twice your annual income to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My damn phone doesn't allow me text or call due to low battery but it has enough battery to keep screaming, Low… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny because once you do a comedy then the next opportunities you get are sort of in that line. I would… — Kristen Bell Copy Share Image
This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I grew up in a bit of a vacuum. And as a kid, you see 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' and you're like,… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
“It was weird, ’cause there we were in Italy listening to people singing in German. The music was nice, though, and there… — J.L. Merrow Copy Share Image
“Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that “women aren't funny.” Using that same math, I can… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
