Learn when to fear, and how to fear, and how much to fear, before you squander all you have left. — Janet Morris Copy Share Image
I'm living the dream! Unfortunately, its the one where I came to work with no pants on. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We have more to learn from animals than animals have to learn from us. — Anthony D. Williams Copy Share Image
I'm not going to do anything that I don't think is very funny, even if it's a lot of money or massive… — Matt Berry Copy Share Image
If A Girl Is Shopping She Is Trendy If A Boy Is Shopping He Is Wasting Money — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of dieters: those who are always telling you what to eat and those who are always telling you… — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
“I know it’s technically goodwill to all men, but in my mind, I drop the men because that feels segregationist/elitist/sexist/generally bad ist.… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
I think everyone is born funny. Sadly, some lives beat it out of them. I don't know what allows someone to keep… — Catherine O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing: You want so badly for people to see what you do - you're proud of it - and… — Kristen Stewart Copy Share Image
Funny songs aren't usually that good. Like Weird Al and maybe a couple of Beatles songs, but it's kind of hard to… — Win Butler Copy Share Image
For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“It’s my Prom King, Brett. He’s tapping at the window, wanting me to roll it down or to get out of the… — P. K. Darling Copy Share Image
We did a thing that we would call we call 'hirstories.' H - I - R - S - T - O… — Jeffrey Tambor Copy Share Image
