Eight Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image “I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.4 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare Eight Find Go Jokes Okay Thinking Up
I only have eight jokes, but I can do 'em over a two-hour period of time. — Ron Shock Copy Share Image
I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me to write… — Chris D'Elia Copy Share Image
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
When I do comedy, my brain sort of locks up in the infinite possibilities. That's where I get sort of lost. I think, "Oh,… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
I never feel like it'll be something where like, 'Aha, I've got it. I'm funny for the rest of my life. I don't need… — Jaboukie Young-White Copy Share Image
I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this. — Julia Sweeney Copy Share Image
I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke. — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when you're my… — Art Linkletter Copy Share Image
I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will… — Bernie Mac Copy Share Image
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
My mother says I didn't open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw… — Elizabeth Taylor Copy Share Image
If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding… — Jill Stein Copy Share Image
I failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing… — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
We got orders to strike the Marshall and Gilbert Islands. We had a task force with the Enterprise. We had two or three cruisers… — Barney Ross Copy Share Image
Ninety-eight percent of the things that come out of my mouth are intended to be harmless or even charming. They're not ever intended to… — Megan Fox Copy Share Image
The first draft is usually junk. You have to work on it seven to eight times. — Ravi Subramanian Copy Share Image
As a result of reading science fiction when I was eight, I grew up with an interest in music, architecture, city planning, transportation, politics,… — Ray Bradbury Copy Share Image
I started a list of things I want to teach my children, and that list is eight points long. The first one is, do… — Tina Roth-Eisenberg Copy Share Image
There could be some compromise, but I think we have to stick to the provisions of the treaty, and the provisions of the treaty… — Jacques Santer Copy Share Image
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