Baby Quote by Stephen Colbert Download Open image “Baby carrots are making me gay.” — Stephen Colbert ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.1 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Baby Carrots Gay Ridiculous
“If I had an orange penis, and an erection, I might take offense at carrot eaters. Baby carrots.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the carrot farmers. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or… — Natasha Lyonne Copy Share Image
I didn't expect to be so comfortable handing my child off to a nanny without getting any of her information. As soon as she… — Ali Wong Copy Share Image
Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. Parents who have little support--from friends, relatives, neighbors, or… — Sheila Kamerman Copy Share Image
Shhh.” He put a finger to her lips. “Hear me out. I cannot deny that I would've liked to have made babies with you.… — Elizabeth Hoyt Copy Share Image
Baby, I love you. We argue about the stupidest shit then we turn around and laugh about it. I'm obsessed with you and you're… — Lindsay Copy Share Image
My dad's Israeli. He was born in Baghdad to Iraqi Jews. Then, at age two, his parents wanted to move to their homeland and… — Elliott Yamin Copy Share Image
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across at this point in… — Brad Pitt Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
