Humor Quote by Stanisław Lem

“Just like the cosmonauts and their pee plants, all we have is each other.”

— Arthur C. Clarke

“Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty.”

— Charles Bukowski

“One day the universe will curl up beside you and begin to purr. Don't worry. You'll know exactly where to place your hands.”

— Alysia Harris

“There’s an indoor toilet, he informs us (though, as we soon find out, this “toilet” is a terrifying open hole above the tracks).”

— Christina Baker Kline

“...I felt instinctively that toilets - as also telephones - happened to be for reasons unfathomable, the points where my destiny was liable to…

— Vladimir Nabokov

“To hear you tell it, you'd think man was only put on this earth to keep urinals from going to waste.”

— Barbara Kingsolver

“You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.”

— Kami Garcia

“One day you're gonna pick a hole in the sky and the universe is gonna fall right through.”

— Kami Garcia

“First-worlders have the luxury of not having to think about waste elimination very much. But for a third-worlder, poop is a big preoccupation.”

— Euny Hong

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to turn you into a turd and flush you down the toilet?”

— Quinn Loftis

“we can't go on ... having regular bowel movements ... while creation happens!”

— Poul Anderson

“Could the toilet be showing the future?”

— Royal