Comedian Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.7 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Comedian Finding yourself Funny sarcastic Humorous Improvement Improving Inspirational Lost Lost in the woods Predicaments Recipe for success Sarcastic Wells
I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never was lost. I was bewildered right bad once for as much as a week, but not lost. — Elizabeth Madox Roberts Copy Share Image
I've lost before, you need great people around you, your family, people giving you positive energy. — Amanda Nunes Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure. — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more. — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies.… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary… — Pauly Shore Copy Share Image
I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
If someone doesn't like a comedian that's fine; a lot of people probably don't like my standup, and that's fine. But I think that… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
I was a kid, and I would watch standup comics do the 'Tonight Show,' and if Johnny Carson liked you, he'd wave you over… — Jo Koy Copy Share Image
Gary Greenberg is a thoughtful comedian and a cranky philosopher and a humble pest of a reporter, equal parts Woody Allen, Kierkegaard, and Columbo.… — Gideon Lewis-Kraus Copy Share Image
For me, comedians are like the epitome for everything great, and they terrify me. I just want to be them. I want to be… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
![“I wouldn't mind gigging around the same era as Jesus, after he gives his speech about the meek and how blessed they are and all that type of bullshit, going up there and doing a flat 20 [minutes]. I reckon I'd have better stagecraft and presence than Jesus. Yea, I'm a better stand-up comedian than…” quote by Jim Jefferies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0fb/jim-jefferies-8092_blessed_i-wouldn-t-mind-gigging-around-the-same_24477.jpg)
