Sarcastic Quotes

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

— Will Rogers

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

— Frederic Raphael

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

— Steven Wright

Going through unknown people's profiles and judging them by their pictures is totally normal.

— Pradeep Chandra

Marriage is meant to be more about your surrender than about your satisfaction.

— Scott Means

years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.

— John Cleese

Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

— Sydney Smith

A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

— Honore de Balzac

Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours...

— Anonymous

His smile is like the silver plate on a coffin.

— John Philpot Curran

As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.

— Anonymous

Chick flick is not a term used to praise a movie. Nobody says 'it's a great chick flick.' It's a way of…

— Callie Khouri

He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.

— Charles Kingsley

I said [ Barack Obama], the founder of ISIS. Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.But not that sarcastic, to be honest with you.

— Donald Trump

He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep.

— Dorothy Eden

My sex life is like a Ferrari...I don't have a Ferrari.

— Anonymous

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.

— Joseph Stilwell

The finest woman that ever walked the streets.

— Mae West

Hmm. I'm still not very good at algebra. I just can't figure out Y.

— Anonymous

Finding a cure for anorexia should be a piece of cake.

— Charles Elba

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself,…

— Fiona Apple

He was happily married but his wife wasnt.

— Anonymous

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be…

— Laura Kightlinger

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

— Jean Baudrillard

“Girls, on the other hand, have always come easy. I don't know why that is, exactly. Maybe it's the outsider vibe and…

— Kendare Blake